Naked Flame
by Nova Super
Summary: A bit AU. Not long after the war, Evelyn and some comrades come to Downton. And after Cora learns of Robert's wandering eye, she takes kind and at first innocent comfort from one of their guests until she realises too late that the friendship she has formed is completely inappropriate. It especially does not sit well in parallel with her fragile marriage. Warning for cliffys.
1. Anyone Can Hurt Someone They Love

_A/N: This idea wouldn't leave me alone after I'd re-watched Season 2 so here it is. The bold writing is set after this fic has finished and the usual writing is the story of how Cora/Evelyn begins! It feels somewhat naughty to be publishing a non-Cobert fic but I felt Cora deserved her own affair after Robert's sins. If you wish to flame that's fine, I'll dance around the fire like... like a really happy slamander. See you at the finish...?  
_

1. Anyone Can Hurt Someone They Love

* * *

**"Don't look at me like that..."**

**"How _should_ I be looking at you?" A tremendous silence, Cora opened her mouth to object but Robert went on. "How does one look at their wife after discovering her unfaithfulness?"**

**"Well Robert," she paused, pulling her eyes off the floor and levelling her gaze with him. "Now you know how it feels."**

* * *

Amassed outdoors, a slight chill stung the air despite the beginnings of Spring. Cora looked to her left and wished she hadn't. There stood her husband all tall, proud and oblivious. But beyond him and his notable self-assigned dignity, another pair of eyes lay watching. Before more hatred could become Cora, the rumbling of the car's engine interrupted her mental cursing. They had company.

Cora needn't fix a smile, she was genuinely pleased to greet a new party to Downton. Given the current circumstances, she believed it might just be what she needed. Those days she welcomed any distraction to take her mind away from her frolicking husband and his doe-eyed mistress. Cora had not quite reached acceptance about Robert's infidelity with Jane. Afterall it hadn't happened before. If Robert had had past encounters, Cora certainly knew none of it. Perhaps he was getting careless...

"Lady Grantham," a familiar smile beamed at her and she offered her hand.

"Mr Napier, what a pleasure to see you again."

"Likewise, certainly. Good of you to have us," he grinned, squeezing her hand and turning to Robert. "Pleasure to meet again, Lord Grantham."

"The honour is all mine. I trust you're well?"

"A few battle scars but otherwise I've been very lucky," Evelyn assured, he turned to acquaint his band of comrades. "Might I introduce Second Lieutenant Jacob Islington..."

Indoors the introductions continued as the family, with Evelyn and his army companions, sat down to luncheon in the dining room. All was going as it should have been. Matthew had been wheeled to the table and he seemed very engrossed in a conversation with the Captain from Evelyn's regiment. Mary was being stiffly civil to Lavinia, Edith was busy trying her hand at flirting with the soldier seated beside her and Sybil was discussing medicines with Isobel. Violet had given the luncheon a wide berth seeing as a bunch of rowdy fellows fresh from war were not her most favourite company at dinner. Robert and Evelyn chatted easily about a range of subjects with Cora occasionally chipping in between their conversation and aiding Edith in her shamelessly obvious endeavour.

But as the plates were cleared and dessert was brought in to be served, Cora caught sight of Jane. Cora had just been getting used to ignoring the woman throughout the meal but as Jane laid down a new plate for Robert she gently brushed his arm, he turned and smiled at her. Just for a split second, Cora was deaf to everyone around her, seeing only the interaction between her husband and the maid - _his_ maid. And when Jane left the room the noise of chatter became unbearably loud.

"Lady Grantham?"

"Hm?" Cora turned her attention from across the table and smiled in a sort of daze.

"Are you quite well?"

"I'm sorry," Cora shook her head, trying to put back on her front. "I'm fine, what was it you were saying Mr Napier?"

"We were just talking about how much the house doesn't seem to have changed - considering it's been used to convalesce patients," Evelyn said, looking to the friend he'd introduced earlier, Jacob Islington.

"Well we only just recently got it back to normal," Cora replied, spooning a small piece of trifle onto her plate and replacing the spoons in the bowl the footman offered her.

"It's a fascinating house," Islington was saying. "Incredible stone-work - have you a chapel?"

"There is, in the East wing," Robert cut in. "It's still fully operational but we usually go to Sunday mass in the village."

"You'll have to forgive Jacob - architecture is his... passion, if you like," Evelyn said to Cora.

"Better architecture than fox-hunting and shrubbery," Jacob replied, poking fun back at Evelyn who shrugged him off.

"In fact I'd very much like to see the gardens if we've the time while we're here."

"I'm sure we've time for that," Cora replied, watching Robert anxiously as he struck up conversation about towers and steeples. "Perhaps we could go today after luncheon?"

"Sounds splendid."

"A few of us could go," Cora suggested. If she'd not looked away to ask her daughters to join the group of garden-goers she might just have noticed Evelyn's face fall a little.

After luncheon, the sun had hidden behind a large black cloud leaving the world with gloomy greyish sky. Nevertheless, half the Crawley family with army folk additions trekked off across the grass for an expedition of the grounds. Cora and Evelyn lead the way up front, occasionally chatting between themselves. Behind them, Edith was talking to Captain Oliver Willows about farming and piglets. Sybil and Mary brought up the rear with Matthew and another of Evelyn's friends who trained a rather keen eye on Sybil.

"Where are you headed after you're done here?" Cora continued her conversation with Evelyn.

"On Thursday we continue up to Scotland and we'll stay there about two weeks before we start making our way back to London."

"Well I'm glad you could stop here."

"I'd not have missed it."

"Mama," Sybil called. The whole troop stopped. "I'm going back to the house now, it looks like there will be rain soon."

"I'm going back aswell," Mary announced, turning Matthew around and immediately starting to push him back to the house.

"Would you like to stay out a little longer?" Cora asked.

"If you wouldn't mind a few minutes more."

"We'll stay out a little longer," Cora called after her three daughters as they all retreated back in the direction of the house. Edith seemed to be hurrying to keep up with the Captain. Cora re-linked her arm with Evelyn's and they set off again.

"I hope you won't think me a pry," Evelyn started. "But I wondered if you were really alright at luncheon."

"Oh, I'm fine..." she trailed off. Once again Cora was seeing Robert and Jane together in her mind's eye and without realising it, she had begun to cry. Evelyn stopped walking, Cora came to a still.

"How long have you known?" Evelyn asked gently. Cora's eyes went wide.

"How do _you_ know?"

"I saw them too - it wasn't obvious," he assured her. "I was just looking where you were looking."

Cora said nothing for a moment, looking about herself. "About a week," she answered his question, furiously wiping away the wet on her cheeks.

"You've not confronted him?"

"Forgive me, Mr Napier but I'd rather the issues between my husband and myself remain between my husband and myself."

"I understand."

"Do you?"

"If you'll pardon my being blunt - my engagement wasn't called off for nothing."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Evelyn shrugged. "I know how you must be feeling..."

"I feel like I've failed him," Cora said quite suddenly, quickly wishing she hadn't because now the tears were flowing. She'd not cried so publically since she'd married Robert and watched her mama's ship leave while she stayed, alone with a man who at the time did not love her. Evelyn looked to be struggling with the spectacle - as any Englishman would - but more so he was upset for her than embarrassed. And so he did something particularly un-English.

The Honourable Evelyn Napier gave the Countess of Grantham a hug.

* * *

**"I never did anything with her!"**

**"And what about-?"  
**

**"It meant nothing!"  
**

**"So the words and the kisses were nothing, were they?" Cora's eyes flared, in a split second she looked more dangerous than he'd seen her in a long time. "Words and affection..." she said, looking away from him as her anger faded to sadness. "Were what told me you loved me... at least in the beginning when we were younger."**

**"I didn't mean what I said to her," Robert said quietly.**

**"You're not a man who says what he doesn't mean," she answered in a matter-of-fact manner.  
**

**"I felt neglected."**

**"I realise that. But did you think what I was neglecting you for?" Cora watched him carefully, Robert gave a look of confusion. "Why Robert, it was exactly what you needed me here for in the first place - everything I did during that God-awful war was for our family and for Downton - as well as for those wounded men. I am not perfect, try as I might I cannot provide for everyone's needs."**

**"But you didn't try for me."**


	2. Say You Will Forgive Me

2. Say You Will Forgive Me

**"Robert! Of course I tried. Don't try to make me feel guilty."**

**"I know all you did was level the playing field but still I'd find it concerning if you didn't feel a bit guilty. I know I do..."**

**Cora said nothing, she shifted uncomfortably in her seat and turned her face away from him.**

* * *

"What do you think Napier's intentions are?" Robert asked, throwing his dressing gown over the chaise and walking around to his side of the bed.

"I don't think he really has any," Cora replied, already tucked in between the sheets, she replaced her bookmark and set her book aside.

"He must have intentions for one of them. Edith perhaps? Or Sybil? Goodness knows we need to settle Mary." He was saying conversationally as he climbed into the bed.

"It didn't work out with Mary last time - besides, she'd engaged now."

"Sir Richard won't last... What about Edith then? I can't see him being Sybil's type..."

"Well, I don't mind what his intentions are - if anything he's doing us a favour."

"By bringing a bunch of bachelors fresh from the front to Downton?"

"I should think many of them will be keen to settle down."

"Mm... Anyway, enough of Mr Napier," Robert said, leaning over to turn out the light at his side, leaving the room in darkness.

"Alright," Cora yawned, settling down and closing her eyes.

But then she heard Robert's weight move across the mattress, he was right beside her, she could feel the warmth of his skin radiating against her. One of his strong hands pressed against the small of her back, pinning her against his groin. She could feel him through their thin nightwear and immediately felt a rush of excitement surge through her. His lips were already placing delicate kisses along her throat. Cora was lost in a whirl of ecstasy for a moment, it was just as it always used to be. Nobody else, only them.

But there was somebody else now. She felt her excitement - and arousal - simultaneously plummet. Now every touch was tainted. Every kiss he planted down her heavily rising and falling chest was one he'd previously given to Jane. The thought made her sick. The hands that roamed her body, the skin that warmed her own, the mouth that gave her his affection had given another woman just the same. But if it weren't enough, Cora knew he'd also admitted his mistress just a small piece of his heart and that hurt all the more. Likely his actions were now determined by the want of that thing in his pants.

"Robert," she croaked.

"Mm?"

"I'm a bit tired do you mind if we leave it for tonight?"

Robert looked up at her and smiled.

"I don't mind if it's quick, I'm rather desperate to have you this evening."

"No, I... I've a headache. I'm sorry."

"Oh," he withdrew his hold on her and immediately she felt colder. "That's... yes, fine. Is it bad? I can sleep in my dressing room?"

"It's alright, I just need some sleep... Goodnight Robert."

"Goodnight Cora."

Sleep, however, was not forthcoming. Cora spent the restless hours considering things, trying to realise what she'd done, where she'd gone wrong. Maybe he'd fallen in love with the maid and maybe Cora had let him. Perhaps she'd practically given him permission in not tending to his wants as she had done before the war. But now the war was over and Cora needed him back. Having not had to compete for his love after 30 years of marriage, she was no longer sure she knew how to.

The next day by early afternoon, Cora was still feeling far from a solution. In the morning, everyone had trooped out for a picnic, Edith especially seemed to have enjoyed herself now the Captain was warming to her. Later on, Cora was perched on a settee in the library, working furiously on her embroidery while tirelessly thinking the same thoughts.

Over at the tea table, Mary and Sir Richard were spending some rare time together, they seemed to be involved in a very serious conversation. Also in the room, Edith was being taught chess by Captain Willows - though he was not to know she already knew how to play... Then Mr Napier entered the room.

Cora hadn't really thought much of the comfort he'd offered her the day before. She hadn't denied him but she wasn't exactly sure she'd accepted him either...

"Good afternoon, Lady Grantham," he gave a friendly smile and looked around at the other two couples. "Care for some company?"

"Why not," Cora set aside her needlework and watched him sit down opposite her.

"How about we play cards?" Evelyn suggested.

"Alright, what do you have in mind?"

"Gin Rummy?"

"Robert hates that one - I always win," she tried to say his name as casually as she could but couldn't quite look Evelyn in the eye. She stood and went to a drawer in one of the bookcases and retrieved a pack of cards.

"I meant to ask... that is to make sure I did not cross a line yesterday. I apologise if I did, I'm not normally so forward."

"No you, um... Would you like to deal?"

"Sure," Evelyn took the cards from her and shuffled them. Edith emitted a loud and unladylike cackle, Cora looked over at them both and Mr Willows seemed to be very confused about how she'd managed to beat him. Evelyn followed her gaze and grinned.

"I thought you might be seeing more of Captain Willows but now it seems not," he said, turning back to the coffee table and dealing out 10 cards for each of them.

"Oh dear... is he a bad loser?"

Evelyn looked up, his eyes twinkling when next he spoke, "only when he's not in control of his games."

"And are you in control of your games, Mr Napier?"

He chuckled, "I try to be."

At that moment Robert walked into the library and saw Cora smiling, jealousy prickled him.

"I take it you're feeling better, Cora?"

"I am, thank you," she looked away from him and settled her interest on her hand of cards.

* * *

**"There's something you're not telling me," Robert decided. His whole demeanour had changed and quickly he was tensing up with fury.**

**"I assumed that when you said..." Cora trailed off. "I thought that you'd been together and so-"**

**"YOU BEDDED HIM!?"**


	3. Giving Into Temptation

3. Giving In To Temptation

**Cora looked at him carefully, the blush crawling up her neck already giving her away. She could see then that she'd made a terrible mistake. And deciding that too much of the truth had been uncovered, she didn't even try to deny what had happened.  
**

**"I did."**

**"With him?" Robert asked quietly, his voice sounded sick with distaste and anger and upset. The rage he'd shown but seconds ago had drawn back into his chest and bubbled within him, brewing a nasty potency of abhorrence and despair. He wanted to say all manner of things, his mind spiralled with conjured up images that made his heart ache with sorrow. But finally, as Cora watched him with the caution one would give an untethered bull, he settled without much thought on an insult. "You bitch."**

* * *

That evening a fine feast had been set out for the family and their guests and after plenty of food, drink and lively conversation, the ladies left for the drawing room. Sybil, Cora, Mary and Lavinia had sat down to play cards while Edith filled Violet in on her interests with Captain Willows. The Dowager had made an appearance that evening, she'd gotten particularly bored and somewhat curious about how these gentlemen were affecting upon the eligible women of her family. Violet thought it absolutely her business to see to it things were being done properly so she'd sent up a note declaring her presence a matter of hours in advance.

When the men came through and card games dispersed, Robert made straight for Cora with a thin determination to be in her company, but Edith had already side-tracked her mama and went on discussing how utterly brave and delightful Captain Willows was and what she should say to him. Robert made an effort to chip-in on their conversation but felt the talk a bit too woman-orientated in way of topic.

"Isn't he splendid, papa?" Edith asked, beaming at her father who was staring off into space.

"Hm? Yes, seems a good chap... where's Cora gone?" He frowned, looking around and realising Edith had talked babble at him for ten minutes while Cora had slipped off to talk to someone else.

"Mama's talking to Mr Napier," Edith told him. "I think they get on rather well."

"Indeed, why is that?"

"Well she knew his mama, I suppose that's it?"

"Probably... Excuse me," Robert walked over to stand with Captain Willows and make a vague attempt at getting to know him better for Edith. But try as he might to focus on his own conversation, his thoughts were more distracted with what was happening elsewhere in the drawing room.

Across the room, Cora was ensuing a joke battle with Evelyn while Robert watched the interaction with a jaundiced eye. When, he wondered, did it get so hard to be interesting enough for her to want his company?

"If William Penn's aunts kept a pastry shop, what would be the price of their pies?" Evelyn asked. Cora shook her head, awaiting the answer. "The pie-rates of Penn's Aunts." Evelyn emitted a chuckle.

"That one was bad," Cora said in her reasoning tone.

"I liked that one!"

"My turn..." Cora thought for a moment. "Why does a chambermaid have more lives than a cat?"

"Hmm..."

"Because every morning she returns to dust," she told him, taking a sip from her wine glass.

"Ah, clever," he nodded. "Why is a dog like a tree? They both lose their bark when they're dead."

"On the topic of morbid dog jokes - why did the dog fall out of the tree?"

Evelyn looked confused, Cora started to giggle at the answer.

"It's going to be something obscure, isn't it?" Evelyn raised an eyebrow, already grinning as she strained not to laugh.

"Because it was dead!"

Evelyn's mouth dropped open. "How very... well yes, I was right - _obscure_."

"I'm sorry," Violet intercepted the conversation. "Cora dear, might I have a moment?" She gave her daughter-in-law an admonishing look, Cora's smile faltered.

"Why of course, mama. Mr Napier if you wouldn't mind excusing me."

"Of course," Evelyn nodded, taking a sip of his whisky and watching the two women take to an unoccupied sofa in the far corner of the room.

"What is it now?" Cora drawled.

"You needn't take such tone with me," Violet said, particularly irked. "I'm merely asking why you opt out of Robert's company tonight?"

"I haven't opted out of his company at all," she replied, sitting up with more interest. "Why do you ask?"

"He looks particularly put out that you would talk to the young gentleman-"

"Mr Napier."

"Mr Napier, rather than him," Violet looked at her with concern.

"I'm talking to all the guests, I thought it was part of being sociable."

"But you have been off with Robert all evening."

"I have not," Cora retaliated. "Mama, there is nothing wrong between Robert and I."

"Then go and talk to him... he looks terribly bored."

"I'm sure Robert can take care of himself." A reproaching stare from Violet and Cora got to her feet. "Fine. Excuse me please, while I go and obey by your unneccessary instruction."

"And Cora-" Violet called her back, she turned with a fed-up look. "You might do well to _look_ happy in his company. We wouldn't want people to think you're having troubles..."

Cora huffed while Violet shook her head and watched her make for Robert and Edith's fellow. Other than occassionally throwing on an over-enthusiastic grin for the Dowager's benefit, Cora remained particularly bored and untalkative the rest of the evening. Now Robert had her at his side, he made little effort to involve her in the conversation, expecting her to instantly be a hit in way of talking about farms and business shares- or so that was how it felt to Cora. But once Violet and Isobel left the party Cora took her chance of escape.

"Well, I think I'll say goodnight," she said in a momentary lapse of talk between Robert and one of Evelyn's comrades.

"Are you sure? It's still quite early," Robert frowned, looking at the grandfather clock in the corner.

"I'm rather tired. Goodnight."

"Cora - can I talk to you a moment?" Robert went after her.

"Mm," she made for the door, turning around to listen to him.

"I thought... That is I rather hoped that we might-"

"If you wouldn't mind sleeping in your dressing room tonight - as, if I may remind you, you are supposed to - that would be a help."

"What's wrong with you tonight?" he hissed.

"I might ask you the same thing," she answered,

"I'd been trying to talk to you all evening and when you finally choose to join my conversation you're as unsociable as you can be!"

Cora didn't blush, but Robert did. The guests were watching the Earl and Countess with mild surprise for their public display of disagreement.

"Excuse us everyone, Lord Grantham has just had some unexpected news," Cora told the room before turning back to Robert. "I will discuss this with you in the morning," she said under her breath before leaving the room.

Robert watched after her in a state of annoyance. Mary came over.

"What on Earth was all that about?"

"Something's wrong with your mother. I'll send for the doctor in the morning..." he grumbled, swirling the inch of port left in his glass and downing it.

"Have you done something to upset her, papa?" Mary arched an eyebrow in slight amusement. "Because if you have, the public display won't have helped."

"Thank you very much for stating the obvious."

* * *

In the drawing room a matter of hours later, moonlight shone in through a gap in the long, heavy curtains of one window. Cora was leaning against the wall, arms wrapepd around herself while she looked up at the dark sky. Robert had done as he'd been told and slept in his dressing room. But Cora had been unable to sleep, heart racing wildly in her chest while the great question imprinted itsself in her every thought. Was he alone in that bed?

Deciding that she couldn't sleep in the next room while Robert did or did not dispense his pleasures with Jane, she had crept out of her bedroom, along the hall, down the stairs and found refuge in the drawing room. Having looked up at the stars quite long enough, she dried the quiet tears she had shed for the husband that slumbered upstairs.

Someone cleared their throat several feet behind her, making her jump. She spun around, hands clasped to her chest.

"I'm sorry if I startled you... it's just I left my pocket watch in here - I got into a discussion with Willows about them and... well it doesn't really matter..."

"I couldn't sleep," she said, not knowing why she was explaining herself. Her eyes wandered over his scruffy hair and stripey pjyamas. "Did you forget your dressing gown?"

"I couldn't find where my valet put it actually..." he frowned and then gave a shrug, going over to a table and picking up his watch by the chain, depositing it in the pocket of his pjyama trousers.

"Well... goodnight, Mr Napier."

"Err... Lady Grantham?" Cora halted a few paces from the window.

"I very much enjoyed our conversations today - and the card games."

"Well I did too," she said genuinly.

"Um, I... well, I just wanted to say I'm glad I don't appear to have upset things between us with my being inappropriate the other day."

"It wasn't that inappropriate... In fact I rather admire you for it."

Evelyn grinned, the dimples in his cheeks more evident and his eyes twinkling. Cora looked at him uncertainly, a sudden feeling of shyness making her look down at her feet. It wasn't often she felt low on nerve - her position usually gave her enough respect to stabilise her personal confidence, but it appeared that even she could have a moment of insecurity about herself.

"I hope I didn't disturb you before."

"No, like I said I was... I couldn't sleep," she said faintly.

"Right yes..."

Neither said anything else, Cora didn't realise how close he'd suddenly become until her hands were against his chest. His breath mingled with hers for a slight moment before he leant in and kissed her. She wanted to pull away, she really did. But she also didn't want to feel like she was in wanting of another man. She wanted to not enjoy the adrenalin-rushing, beautiful kiss she was sharing with someone who was not Robert. It was a nice kiss, far more emotional than she'd anticipated. If she'd anticipated it at all.

Even when his lips first grazed hers, she knew it was not romantic. It was mutual loneliness. Evelyn was a charming and kind young man, nothing was to say she wouldn't enjoy his affection and likewise he hers. Of course surprise was another thing to factor in, though Cora doubted he was embracing her the way he was specifically for her looks or personality - she was fully aware of her age and the fact Mr Napier was just... exploring boundaries. But she couldn't help feeling flattered anyway.

Evelyn broke away but lingered close. He was breathing deeply and she realised so was she. Her palms still lay on his torso, she stared at her wedding ring as it sparkled in the dim light. Taking a breath, she looked up and met his gaze.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I didn't mean to take advantage or-"

"Don't apologise..." she trailed off, her senses were responding to him now. His touch, his scent, the look in his eyes... it was so very different to what she was used to. Guilt and sadness flooded her as she accepted his lips again, too readily and too passionatly.

Her hands slipped up his neck. The wedding band cold against his nape, the diamond no longer shining in the shadows.

* * *

**Cora knew he was heart-broken. He was entitled to his harsh insults and pain-fuelled bitterness, as she had been not that long ago. But knowing that didn't make the words hurt any less.  
**

**"Why him?" Robert demanded. "Why?"**

**"I suspect, like your maid, it was just because he was there."**

**"But I was there too... wasn't I?" **

**It hurt to see him so devastated... but she'd resolved to answer his questions honestly... **

**"After what I heard you say to her, it didn't matter where you were."  
**

**"I need to hit something... preferably his head."**


	4. A Stupid Mistake

_A/N: I wasn't going to do another note until the final chapter but I've a few things to say to you lovely people who are leaving me comments and reviews. I am very much appreciative that most of you guys are with me on the whole Cora deserves her own fun time - also I'm also glad I've not been roasted with negativity (no need for my fire salamander dance now...) Anyway, that could well change very soon. Cobert fans, oh dearest Cobert fans, please do bear with me and sit tight - it's about to get all the the more 'torturous' (as DowntonAddict put it ;)). I'll say no more to do with this chapter but now we have a few notices. Firstly, updates will becoming on Tues and Thurs days. Secondly, I've a poll on my profile to do with this story for those wishing to partake. There's no thirdly now... see you Thursday! x  
_

* * *

4. A Stupid Mistake

**"Perhaps I should leave if you're feeling violent?"**

**"Don't move. We are having this out now."**

* * *

_Just a few more days_, Cora reminded herself. _A few more days and it'll be like he was never here._ The effects of the evening before had hit her full on in the face the next morning. It seemed a casual kiss in a moonlit room with someone other than Robert wouldn't be leaving her guilt-free - even if Robert was off doing just the same thing. Cora had tried to remind herself she was in control of herself here - it always took two to partake in these things after all. Perhaps if she held no interaction with Mr Napier for another three days there would be no temptation to do anything else inappropriate or remotely unfaithful...

Since their encounter in the drawing room, Cora had avoided him where possible - averting her gaze from him at breakfast and ducking out of Edith's activity organising. They hadn't shared any further words the night before, when Cora colelcted herself together again she fled the room and swiftly returned to bed, leaving Evelyn in a bewildered sort of daze. It seemed she was doing an awful lot of hiding lately...

Cora had settled on one of the high-backed sofas in the library, persistently poking at her current needlework while staring out of the window at a grey and breezy day. A sleepy yawn from Isis broke her away from her thoughts. Resolved to abandon her arabesque mid-stitch to go and tend to the guests she'd been neglecting, Cora was just about to get up when she heard the door to the library open and close. She swiveled around and peered over the sofa, about to call greeting to whoever she should find.

No words came to her lips, they were glued in her throat while her head pulsed with panic. Robert and Jane had entered the room and they obviously did not know she was there.

"But I can't stay, milord, if Lady Grantham-"

"Leave worrying about Lady Grantham to me. I won't have you leave because of my indecency."

"I wouldn't call it indecency, milord."

"I would... If you knew how I've wanted you."

Cora clasped a hand over her mouth to stop them hearing her cry. It was like physical agony to hear him speak such things, hear him talk of her to his maid like she could be blind-sighted and have her ignorance of them tended to. Cora lowered down onto the sofa, hiding herself from view. Isis had woken up and was looking at her quite confusedly.

"If you knew how I've wanted you too... you're all I think about," Jane said gently. Cora could tell they were huddled close, their voices had become husky and flirtatious.

"How I wish everything was different for us."

Cora couldn't listen to more of this. Putting her emotional distress in the next room, she rose from her pitfall with with the anger of an untamed inferno, the calm of a lioness about to pounce, the majesty of a royal. Very slowly, she turned and faced them to see them inches from a kiss. She cleared her throat with a business-like significance.

If ever Cora had felt powerful in her role as a Countess, she'd never quite felt the full effect as she did then. Jane looked genuinely scared for her life and quickly untangled herself from Robert's arms, fidgeting with her hands nervously while Robert stared at Cora dumbfounded.

"Robert darling," Cora said without affection. "The next time you choose to have an affair you might do well to keep it better hidden from me."

Her voice didn't quaver, she was thankful for that. As she made her way for the door, neither of them interrupted her. Isis had tailed after her, giving Jane a low growl and trotting along at Cora's heel. Robert broke out of his stupefaction and hurried after her without so much as looking back at Jane.

"Cora," he called after her but she didn't stop. "Cora!"

She continued straight out into the hall, making for the front doors.

"Wait! Where are you going?" he quickened his pace to catch up with her. He reached out for her arm to pull her back but Isis turned and barked at him. Surprised by his pet's obvious new dislike for him, he stopped. Cora turned around.

"Did you really think I didn't know?" she asked in defeat. Her prowess had crumbled now, all she really wanted was to cry alone.

"I... Well, I- No, of course not. But she doesn't mean anything-"

"Well I hope I'm interrupting something important," Violet sweeped in through the front doors, alarming Robert further. Isis gave a bark and wagged her tail enthusiastically.

"The Dowager Countess, milady," Carson said rather too late as he closed the door.

"Mama... are we expecting you?" Robert asked in a fluster.

"No but I thought I'd come for tea," she smiled, quirking her head.

Cora turned and headed up the stairs.

"Cora, wait," Robert called after her.

"I don't want to talk to you right now. Drink tea with your mother."

"My my, it seems I have arrived just in time," Violet raised her eyebrow at Robert.

Cora stopped at the top of the stairs and spoke directly to Carson. "Please let O'Brien know I don't want to be disturbed until the dressing gong so I will not be down to luncheon."

"As you wish, milady," Carson said with a nod.

"And of course this is the Entrance Hall," Edith came walking in with a troop of their guests in tow plus Sybil. "Oh... hello granny, I didn't think we'd be seeing you until tomorrow. I'm just showing the gentlemen the house."

"So I see," Violet replied.

Cora moved out of sight behind a pillar, leaning against the aged stone for support.

"Carson will you show the Dowager Countess to the library and have tea brought up. If you'll excuse me a moment," Robert said, hurrying up the stairs after Cora with as much gentlemanly grace as possible. "Cora?"

"Robert, leave her. She needs her time. Come with me, I need a word with you," Violet instructed.

Robert groaned inwardly but did as he'd been told. He didn't need embarrassing further in front Carson - or anybody else for that matter. Cora listened as Robert dejectedly walked back down the stairs to join Violet and their voices faded out as they went from the hall. Edith recited some partly true facts about the room and prepared the party to move into the next room.

"Actually, do you mind if you excuse me I've some... correspondence to take care of?" Cora recognised Sybil's voice as she tried to wriggle out of attending the rest of Edith's tour.

"Must you? We're about to do the portrait room..."

"I've a few letters to write myself," Evelyn's voice was distinct. "I hope you won't mind if I excuse myself aswell."

"Well... alright. I suppose we'll see you at luncheon."

"Thank you for the tour, Lady Edith," Evelyn said before making his way up the stairs while Sybil went off somewhere to not write correspondence letters.

"Alright, let's go on to the portrait room. It's one of the most historical and fascinating rooms in the house..." Collective footsteps followed Edith's voice out of the hall.

"Oh... Lady Grantham I thought you'd gone," Evelyn said, leaning against the stone beside her with a friendly smile. "Are we to talk about last night or pretend it didn't happen? I'll understand either way," he said in an up-beat way that confused her.

Cora blinked several times trying to find her thoughts and realise what he was saying.

"I don't... know."

"Alright," Evelyn said slowly.

"We'll..." she made her mind up then. A spur of the moment decision made in heart-break she'd not experienced before. "Come with me."

Evelyn followed beside her, intrigued. Cora walked down the corridors with her head hung, fighting a hoard of emotions as she led the young gentleman to her boudoir. They arrived and she held the door open for him but before allowing him to enter she spoke quickly.

"I think you know why I've brought you here and please, if you want to avoid my brash and - at the moment - badly judged decisions you should go."

Evelyn considered her carefully, her eyes were to the floor, her head hung a little. He swallowed hard and walked past her into the bedroom. Cora followed, slightly surprised, and turned to close the door behind them. Before she'd turned around, his hands were at her waist, lightly placed there while she felt his chest press against her back with his lips at her cheek. Her heart thumped wildly, everything about it was wrong and yet for some reason she needed to feel an intimacy, she needed to feel wanted by someone...

She turned to face him and he kissed her, her arms wound around his neck, his taste was on her lips and hers on his. He took his time, requesting slow entrance of his tongue into her mouth and his touch staying chaste while they found sync with one another. But as arousal burned heavier, want grew stronger than patience. Cora pushed his day jacket from his shoulders, he shrugged it off and let it hit the floor. Her fingers traced over his jaw-line and down his throat, pulling at his tie. He grew bolder with her confidence and began to unfasten the buttons at the back of her dress. She pushed the braces from his broad shoulders while their kisses became shorter and more desperate and quickly they became clothless. Cora had underestimated the tone of his physique and it had quite the unexpected effect on her. Powerful arms lifted her from her feet and carried her to her bed.

Yet in one moment of lost connection when he too got into the bed, her thoughts became articulate for just a split second. But before she could do anything with her doubt, he lay between her thighs and the best part of the deed was done.

From then on her mind scrambled again and not much else was apparent to Cora until she had well and truly crossed the line and run a mile past it...

* * *

**Robert had calmed somewhat after an indeterminable length of silence.  
**

**"You know it's actually pretty much accepted for men to have affairs while their wives stay loyal," he said almost conversationally. **

**"I may have been able to accept that if our situation was different."  
**

**"And what is our situation?"**

**Cora breathed a sigh and met his eyes. **

**"I think... if we can't forgive eachother now, we're in trouble, Robert." **

**"You need to forgive me? How is that? I didn't do-"  
**

**"For once look at things from my perspective. I thought you were having an affair with... _Jane_ but you weren't... quite. You thought I'd not been to bed with him... but I had. What we both know has just reversed. I will say I am sorry for what I've done but it's not entirely my fault Robert, at least accept you partly pushed me to go there."**

**"Well you 'partly pushed me' to nearly have an affair with the maid!"**

**"I've already told you what I was neglecting you for!"**

**"Yes but you still ignored me."**

**"I did not ignore you... We just slept together less often..."**

**Robert let out a frustrated growl and clenched his fists.**

**"I can't do this with you anymore!"**


	5. It Could Happen To Any One Of Us

5. It Could Happen To Any One Of Us

**"Well tell me what you want to do then, Robert. You're not the only one who can't stand the way things are between us. What do you want to do?"**

* * *

Evelyn Napier was an athlete in the bedroom. That or Cora had forgotten what it was to make love with a younger man. He was yet to fully dress himself, his shirt was unbuttoned, his braces hanging down around his legs with his trousers part done-up. He had stopped dressing himself to assist her with the ties on her undergarments.

"How does she tie it?"

"A sort of double loop thing."

"Hopefully that'll do... it seems secure enough," he said, letting go of the cords and tucking them out of sight for her.

"Thank you."

He smiled and went about buttoning up his shirt and finding his shoes. Cora tried to readjust her hair but to no avail, she would have to send for O'Brien.

"I hope you won't mind my saying..." Evelyn caught her attention, he was tucking his shirt in. "I know our... what we've done wasn't on the grounds of romance or anything of the sort. I don't expect anything else. But I do have a certain... um..."

"Mr Napier, please don't say something you'll regret."

"No, it's rather I'd regret not saying it, I think... I do have certain affections for you, Lady Grantham. I admire you a great deal. So I wouldn't want what's happened to over-complicate anything or occupy you with guilt when you deserve not to be burdened with it."

"I'm afraid there's not much you could say to stop me feeling guilt."

"But I hope you won't feel it because I was the one who partnered you in... it."

"Oh... I understand."

There was a timid knock on the door which startled both of them.

"Milady, am I alright to open the door? Lady Grantham's here to see you, she insists it's quite important," it was Anna.

"_Hide_," Cora mouthed. Evelyn hurriedly gathered up his things and made for the bathroom.

"One moment," Cora called out. She found a dressing gown and threw it on. "Alright."

Anna opened the door and the Dowager strutted in.

"Why on Earth are you undressed? Where's O'Brien?"

"I was... I got myself undressed, I was having a nap."

"With the curtains open?" Violet gave her a queer look, Cora shrugged. The Dowager made for a chair, dismissing Anna as she went.

"Now, I've talked to Robert-"

"Forgive me, mama, but would you mind if I got some clothes on first?"

"Yes, I would mind. This is important, I don't care if you're not properly dressed."

Cora warily ran a hand over her face and sat down opposite her on the chaise.

"Robert's told me about the maid."

"Has he?" Cora said tiredly, without much care for the answer.

"He has. I will admit I was surprised. I mean - a _maid_. A clear cry for help."

"Yes, thank you, mama, I don't need reminding of my mistakes. I know where I went wrong, thank you..." Violet said nothing, only observed her in mild surprise. "You know I think this time..." Cora said, staring off into space. "This time I think there's no going back to how we were."

"Oh my dear... I sympathise," Violet's eyes saddened a little. "At least it wasn't a proper ordeal... no _affaire de coeur_ by any means," she chuckled slightly.

"Hm..."

"He never loved her," the Dowager said to enforce her point, her seriousness returning.

"Are you taking his word on that?"

"No," Cora received a stern look. "Now ignore Robert for just a moment, I want to talk about you... Now, during the past years I don't think you could have done anything more for Downton and the war effort than you have. I'll admit, it's not often I feel proud of you, Cora. When I saw Downton transformed I was horrified. But you kept your rule over this house, I was proud and admiring of you for that, you behaved as a Countess should. Robert, in time, will thank you for that when he realises he focussed far too dearly on the wrong things..."

"Even so, I could have-"

"What's done is done. Don't grieve over what you did or did not do. As far as this maid goes, Robert's had you by his side far too long to not have you there. It's just as I've always said - every marriage is a fresh tide - plenty of ups and downs and often reigning in close to home only to end up far out on the shore again. Cora your marriage was made to last. People like us are constant as the tide - we know how to enforce routine and we are always moving in the same motions... Now stop crying or I'll revoke what I said about being proud of you."

"Thank you, mama," Cora reached for a handkerchief from the drawer in her vanity while Violet got to her feet also.

"I've told him if he's any sense to give the maid her departure date - not too quickly so as not to rouse suspicion but quickly enough... Luncheon will be ready soon, I'll send O'Brien up."

With that Cora was left alone in her bedroom. But quickly she remembered she was not enitrely alone... she had someone occupying her bathroom. Going to the door, she knocked and then opened it. Evelyn had dressed completely but his hair was still stuck up in a messy fashion.

"My turn to leave," he said with a slight smile, moving into the bedroom. "I suppose we'd better not keep one another's company until I leave."

"Probably for the best... Though I'll be at the train station with Edith - I promised I'd go with her to see you all off. I rather think that friend of yours is keen on her again."

"He'll be determined to win back a game of chess and level the playing field..."

Evelyn followed Cora to the door and waited while she looked out onto the corridor.

"Thank you for being so understanding with all of this," Cora said, taking his offered hand in way of goodbye.

"Think none of it," he smiled, leaning in and kissing her cheek. "Goodbye, Lady Grantham."

* * *

**Robert didn't have an answer for her. He wasn't entirely sure he'd understood her question. But her tone suggested his reply would give the ultimatum.  
**

**"Do you think you can forgive me?" she spelt it out for him simply.**

**"I don't know," he replied frankly. **

**Cora got up from her seat but stayed with a distance between them.**

**"Do you... Do you want a divorce?"**

**"By God, no!" Robert replied with more force than he'd meant to. The question had taken him by surprise. **

**"I know love wasn't part of the deal when we married," she took a moment to collect herself, looking him in the eye before going on. "But I don't think I can keep being your wife if we don't love each other now." **


	6. Hearts Will Break

6. Hearts Will Break

**"I never thought I'd ever hear you say that," Robert replied when he couldn't settle on a better answer. For the first time during their conversation he sat down.**

**"I never thought I'd say it..."**

**"I'm afraid we're going to have to spell things out very clearly for the rest of this talk..." he said slowly. "So we both know clearly where we stand."**

**"Alright," she agreed, her tone gentle. The heart that had loved him faultlessly for thirty years now beat frantically in her chest. She was scared by what he'd say next. Their marriage was no longer the tide that Violet had described. It was a ship, broken and damaged on the rocks the sea had sent them to. **

* * *

"I've spoken to mama."

"So have I."

Robert stood beside her while their guests bid their goodbyes and said their thanks. Gradually all of them had clambered into the motors, awaiting Edith to climb in behind the driver's seat in the front vehicle.

"We should talk."

"I've told Edith I'll go with her and I won't be long... We can talk once I'm back."

"No, I've got to go into-"

"Thank you again, Lord Grantham. It's been a pleasure," Evelyn shook Robert's hand without looking at Cora.

"Likewise, Mr Napier. Thank you for stopping off here."

Evelyn kept his pretense well, quickly ending formalities to go and join his comrades.

"Come on, mama. We're about to go," Edith told Cora, hurrying off to climb into the front.

"I'll see you later," Cora told Robert, squeezing his forearm and pressing a thin-lipped kiss to his cheek. She got into the car, glancing back at him before climbing in. Robert watched the cars take off and then turned to go indoors and wait for his personal motor to be brought around.

"Goodness! Are you a complete fool?" Carson bellowed, startling Robert and making him double-back.

"Something wrong, Carson?"

"Apologies, my Lord. I'm afraid it's Dean's first time helping with the luggage as we're still short-staffed. One of the gentlemen's cases has been left behind."

"Well, I'm about to go into Ripon. We can call at the station on the way and drop it off before the train leaves if we hurry."

Carson nodded, the red in his cheeks begin to subside.

"Yes, if you're sure milord."

"Hurry about it."

On the way to the station, Robert pondered the words of his mama. It had cost him everything he had to admit his near-affair to her. After being so defeated when he told her, he hadn't really expected her to beat him down further with a telling off... He'd promised her to try his best, to salvage his marriage and appreciate Cora as he should. Her response...

"You haven't another option. You _will_ make your marriage work. You _will_ dismiss that maid. I won't settle for you 'trying your best', that holds no guarantee. You will act like the Earl you were brought up to be and blame nobody else for your mistakes. Am I understood?"

Once again, Violet was correct. He had to put things right. Sitting in the back of the car, he decided he'd make the first step to making things better with Cora. He'd invite her to town with him. She could come with him on his errands and they could have lunch together in the restaurant by the park.

"I'll be getting out with Thomas when we get to the station," he told Branson.

"Right you are, milord."

* * *

Meanwhile at the train station, Edith and Oliver Willows were saying goodbye...

"So... goodbye," Oliver said.

"Goodbye. It was lovely to meet you."

"And you too, pleasure was all mine believe me... Goodbye."

"Bye."

"Goodbye."

Edith giggled, "goodbye."

The other men were just starting to board the train. Cora received thanks from each of them as they went.

"I'm sorry," Cora was interrupted in her farewells. "Have you a moment, Lady Grantham?"

"I... Yes," Cora eyed Evelyn, trying to work out what he was doing. He walked back towards the station building, stopping underneath the long porch that ran down the platform. Cora joined him, ready to question what he needed to say.

"Mr Napier, I thought we'd agreed..."

"I'm sorry, forgive me for cutting you off... and I hope you'll forgive me this aswell."

"Mr N- Oh!"

Cora had her back flat against one of the porch beams, her hands groping behind her for support. Robert walked onto the platform at precisely the wrong moment.

* * *

**"I know we've hit a tricky time," Robert said. "I know neither of us is solely to blame... we're as much at fault as each other... Thing is I felt so useless during the war years. I've felt so useless for so long... I had to be needed by someone and that was how..." he swallowed, pausing for a moment while Cora stood and gazed at him in mild amazement at his calm and expressive explanation. "I envied you your sense of purpose for so long. It hurt more when I became second to your work. It sounds pathetic even as I say it..."  
**

**"It's not pathetic." **

**He smiled without humor. "My point is I could never have had a proper affair. I just couldn't. All those thing I said... They weren't for her, they were for you. It was just what I wanted to say to you... But you have to believe me when I say she doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I loose her. It matters if I loose you, Cora." **

**He heard her take a quavering breath. Robert so badly wanted to remove the distance between them but he couldn't yet. If he embraced her now, he really would lose control of his emotions.**

**"What I don't understand," he said, reigning away from his upset and returning to anger at ignorance. "Is how _you_ could have an affair." **

* * *

"Mm," Cora had gotten over her initial shock and seemed to have forgotten herself and where she was. But it didn't take long to remember as her eyes fluttered open and she realised who she was kissing. "Mr Napier," she said, pushing him back from her and turning around to walk back out onto the open platform.

Robert was standing stock-still and staring straight at her. His heart felt it had crumpled up in his chest and compressed further.

"Robert," she murmured on sight of him, freezing to the spot herself. The train whistle blew, Evelyn said something to her that she didn't catch. The train began to move and he soon hurried to climb on board. Robert turned around at the other end of the platform and began to walk away. "Robert!" she shouted through another train whistle. "Robert!"


	7. Anyone You Think Of

7. Anyone You Think Of

**"Robert, you can't keep hounding me about why I did it... I was feeling how you feel right now - that's how I managed to end up with him. I really thought that you had-" **

**"Even if I had - Was that enough to throw yourself at the first man that came along?"**

**"You needn't make me sound so heartless-!"**

**"Well that's how it feels from over here."**

* * *

She waited all day. She stared out of the window, waiting to see him come back but he didn't.

"The dressing gong has rung, milady."

"Has it? I mustn't have noticed," Cora said, getting up to follow O'Brien up to her bedroom. She allowed herself to be dressed, making little effort at conversation with her maid while her thoughts pondered where Robert could have gone.

"There we are, milady," O'Brien said, securing Cora's hair with the last pin.

"Thank you, O'Brien... Has his lordship returned yet?"

"I believe he has, milady. Mr Branson said they got back not long after the dressing gong... Will that be all, milady?"

"Yes, thank you."

O'Brien left the room and Cora made straight for the dressing room, she knocked and didn't await a reply before going in. The room was empty. Cora looked elsewhere for Robert before dinner but only found him once she was seated, with him sitting opposite herself at the dinner table, leaving no chance for an intervention. She made no attempt at conversation with him over the meal, his hostility recognisable by everyone at the table.

"What's wrong with papa this evening?" Edith asked once they'd left them men in the dining room.

"I'm not sure," Cora answered absent-mindedly, barely realising the question.

"Sybil? Are you alright?" Edith asked again, ever inquisitive.

"Mm, what? I'm fine..." she said, distractedly fidgeting with the her necklace.

"I expect everyone will be feeling unsettled with all the recent changes," Violet said, clutching her cane while perching beside Cora. "What about some cards?"

"Alright, I'll play."

"Of course you will Edith," Mary said bluntly. Lavinia shuffled uncomfortably next to Sybil, not doing well amongst the family conflict.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Edith asked.

"Quiet both of you, I can't do with your bickering tonight," Cora told them off quite unexpectedly. The room fell quiet. The silence was quickly broken, however, when Robert and Matthew (wheeling himself) came in. Cora stood immediately, Robert looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm here."

This startled everyone. All eyes went to the doorway as Branson came in.

"So you are," Robert replied in confusion, border-line anger.

"You've asked me to come," he was staring at Sybil. "And I've come."

"I don't think... Not in front of Granny, Tom-"

"Tom? Whoever is Tom?" Violet asked in confusion.

"They all have the right to know," Branson answered.

"For Goodness sake! Sybil - what is he doing in here?" Robert exploded, startling Sybil somewhat as she got up and took Tom's hand. Cora's full attention turned away from her husband and settled on her youngest daughter.

* * *

"Of all the nights this could have happened, it had to be tonight!"

"Papa, we didn't mean to fall in love-"

"That is not love! Do not speak of love. You are about to give up your family, your home, your allowance - for a chauffeur. An Irish revolutionary at that!"

"He is not a revolutionary," Sybil argued. "He's political... like me."

"I don't care what he is!"

"What do you say, mama? You're awfully quiet," Mary commented.

Robert, Cora, Mary, Edith and Sybil were in the drawing room discussing Sybil's future with Branson while the Dowager had left for home when the conversation showed no sign of improvement. Lavinia and Matthew had retired to bed for the evening and Branson had been banished to his garage as quickly as he had admitted himself to the drawing room.

"I think that if Sybil has really considered every option-"

"She shouldn't throw it all away!" There was no calming Robert down, every word he uttered was a thundering shout.

"Why don't we all sleep on it?" Cora suggested. "We can talk with clear heads in the morning."

"Good idea," Sybil decided, ready to take her leave.

"Don't think I'll have softened by the morning," Robert growled after them as all three of his daughters gave him a mixture of displeased looks upon leaving the drawing room. "I won't let you do it, Sybil."

"Robert, really..."

"And you're a fine one talk," he breathed, his voice finally weary of all the physical strain as he turned to Cora. "It's not enough to publically kiss a man half your age, you've got undermine me in front of our children aswell."

"Robert, that's not exactly how-"

"That is exactly how it is."

"You're a hypocrite," she said calmly. Her own grief over Robert's mistake shielding her from finding guilt in her own.

"How dare you talk to me like that-!"

"I will talk to you how I deserve to talk to you!" Cora shouted, audibly enough for the rest of the house to hear. "I am merely acting by example. You go off with a maid of all people while I-"

"You will not talk to me like that in my house!"

His whisky glass smashed in the fireplace, the flames rearing with the lick of alcohol. Mary immediately came storming back in.

"Mama, are you alright?" she asked with no regard for Robert.

"Just fine, I'll be coming up soon," Cora replied as calmly as she could manage.

"Despite whatever is going on," Mary said to Robert's back. "You have to stop your arguing... both of you do. It doesn't just affect you, it affects all of us."

The door slammed and she was gone. Cora shuffled uncomfortably in her seat while Robert went and poured himself a fresh drink, giving her an unamused side-glance.

"Don't look at me like that..."

"How should I be looking at you? How does one look at their wife after discovering her unfaithfulness?"

"Well Robert," she paused, levelling her gaze with his. "Now you know how it feels."

"I never did anything with her!" he exploded.

"And what about-?"

"It meant nothing!"

"So the words and the kisses were nothing, were they? Words and affection..." she said, looking away from him as her anger faded to sadness. "Were what told me you loved me... at least in the beginning when we were younger."

"I didn't mean what I said to her," he said genuinely.

"You're not a man who says what he doesn't mean."

"I felt neglected."

"I realise that. But did you think what I was neglecting you for? Why Robert, it was exactly what you needed me here for in the first place - everything I did during that God-awful war was for our family and for Downton - as well as for those wounded men. I am not perfect, try as I might I cannot provide for everyone's needs."

"But you didn't try for me."

"Robert! Of course I tried. Don't try to make me feel guilty."

"I know all you did was level the playing field but still I'd find it concerning if you didn't feel a bit guilty. I know I do..." he sipped from his drink, his eyes diverting from her for a moment but when he looked back, her guilt was fresh on her face. Robert put down his glass.

"There's something you're not telling me," he said immediately.

"I assumed that when you said... I thought that you'd been together and so-"

"YOU BEDDED HIM!?"

"I did."

"With him?" he asked in defeat. He didn't want an answer and so for the first time in their marriage he verbally disrespected her. "You bitch."

Her head shot up in surprise, it made Robert instantly regret it but he couldn't forgive her yet.

"Why him?" he demanded. "Why?"

"I suspect, like your maid, it was just because he was there," she said, partly over-coming her shock.

"But I was there too... wasn't I?"

"After what I heard you say to her, it didn't matter where you were."

"I need to hit something... preferably his head."

"Perhaps I should leave if you're feeling violent?" Cora suggested, getting up from the sofa.

"Don't move. We are having this out now..." he breathed deeply and a long silence followed before he spoke again. "You know it's actually pretty much accepted for men to have affairs while their wives stay loyal."

"I may have been able to accept that if our situation was different."

"And what is our situation?"

"I think... if we can't forgive each other now, we're in trouble, Robert."

"You need to forgive me? How is that? I didn't do-"

"For once look at things from my perspective. I thought you were having an affair with... Jane but you weren't... quite. You thought I'd not been to bed with him... but I had. What we both know has just reversed. I will say I am sorry for what I've done but it's not entirely my fault Robert, at least accept you partly pushed me to go there."

"Well you 'partly pushed me' to nearly have an affair with the maid!"

"I've already told you what I was neglecting you for!"

"Yes but you still ignored me."

"I did not ignore you...!" she said angrily. "We just slept together less often..."

"I can't do this with you anymore!"

"Well tell me what you want to do then, Robert. You're not the only one who can't stand the way things are between us. What do you want to do?" she sighed when he gave no answer and so put it to him simply. "Do you think you can forgive me?"

"I don't know."

"Do you... Do you want a divorce?"

"By God, no!" Robert said loudly, quickly aware of his volume he quieted.

"I know love wasn't part of the deal when we married... But I don't think I can keep being your wife if we don't love each other now."

"I never thought I'd ever hear you say that," he said when he realised he had no other response. He drained the rest of his glass and set it aside, taking a seat opposite her on the sofa.

"I never thought I'd say it..."

"I'm afraid we're going to have to spell things out very clearly for the rest of this talk..." he said carefully. "So we both know clearly where we stand."

"Alright," she agreed.

"I know we've hit a tricky time. I know neither of us is solely to blame... we're as much at fault as each other... Thing is I felt so useless during the war years. I've felt so useless for so long... I had to be needed by someone and that was how..." he paused for a moment while Cora gazed at him, perplexed by his words. "I envied you your sense of purpose for so long. It hurt more when I became second to your work. It sounds pathetic even as I say it..."

"It's not pathetic."

"My point is I could never have had a proper affair. I just couldn't. All those thing I said... They weren't for her, they were for you. It was just what I wanted to say to you... But you have to believe me when I say she doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I loose her. It matters if I loose you, Cora. But what I don't understand," he said, the anger inside him growing up again like a flame with new fuel. "Is how you could have an affair."

"Robert, you can't keep hounding me about why I did it... I was feeling how you feel right now - that's how I managed to end up with him. I really thought that you had-"

"Even if I had - Was that enough to throw yourself at the first man that came along?"

"You needn't make me sound so heartless-!"

"Well that's how it feels from over here."

"Well... if that is how you feel..." she swallowed her tears, hiccuping slightly as she fought them back. "I think I'll say goodnight now."

He didn't object, only watched her leave as she got to her feet and made her way out of the room.

Robert granulated slowly. First tears, second losing balance, third collapsing to his knees, fourth reducing to sobs, fifth wondering where it all went so terribly wrong.

If only he had known how it would hurt. His mind whirled, questioning everything between Cora and Napier, needing to know every detail, not wanting to know at the same time. Everything felt, to him, as though it had all been a pathway of messes, each ruin the subject of another.

The war had given Cora her place, he had envied her that. In his loss for a place in the war, he accepted that he'd felt hard done by and ignored. So he'd found an importance in someone else's life, someone who mattered nothing to him but to whom he mattered a great deal. He'd sought excitement with Jane and found it partly. But the war had finished now. Things couldn't be the same and yet they had to return to normal again at the same time. Cora had found out, she'd accepted the interest's of another man. Was it all just his fault? That part he couldn't accept yet. He wasn't a man who learned from his mistakes, he'd been brought up not to make them and brush over his faults wherever possible. Maybe that part was his parent's fault... Really it didn't matter who held the blame. It didn't take the anger away.

* * *

"Are you sure you're quite well, milady? You look very pale."

"I'm fine, O'Brien... Everything will look better in the morning," she assured herself more than her maid.

"If you're sure, milady."

"I'm sure..." Cora got up to make for the bed but an attack of dizziness hit her.

"I really think I should call the doctor, milady."

"Nonsense, I'm perfectly fine," Cora got up on second attempt and made it to the bed. "Maybe a glass of water would help."

"Of course milady, I'll be straight back," O'Brien hurried from the room. Cora climbed between the sheets and tried to relax but the bed felt too hot. The extreme fatigue built up and made her ache with tiredness. O'Brien burst back in in a matter of minutes.

"Milady, the doctor's coming at once. Miss Swire's taken ill and so have some of the other downstairs staff - including Mr Carson."

"I'm not ill, O'Brien, just tired. Let the doctor see to the rest of them first..."

"Milady I don't wish to alarm you but... you look... well you don't look well, milady."

"Just tied, O'Brien," Cora yawned. "Just tired..."

* * *

**"Robert make your mind up. You cannot keep throwing accusations at me and insulting me and yet still expect me to stand around and dote on you all day and continue happily as your wife. I will quickly agree I shouldn't have done what I did but neither should you. If you can't forgive me - and yourself - then I'm very much doubtful we'll manage to be alright again..." she breathed deeply before continuing, cutting him off. "But I will, above anything else, be upset that this is what managed to break us... We've had thirty years together, three beautiful daughters, seen through two wars and on more than one occasion we've almost lost each other. If you have learned anything from those experiences I expect you might know whether you can live without me or not." **


	8. I Swear Every Word Is True

8. I Swear Every Word Is True

**"What about you? Could you live without me?" **

**"A year ago my answer would undoubtedly be 'no'."**

**"And now?" Robert asked.**

**"And now... After thinking about it for more than a split second... My answer is still no. No, I couldn't."**

* * *

Cora lay quite still. She'd seen the light of the sun cross her bedroom and the shadows rise and creep across her room as the next day wore on into evening. She'd been diagnosed by Doctor Clarkson with Spanish Flu, just like half of the rest of the household. But still Robert had not been to see her. Though to say she had not seen Robert was not to say she hadn't heard him. Him and Jane.

It felt a very appropriate punishment to Cora. She was so tired, so weak that she couldn't do a thing but listen. Whether he knew she could hear or not, Cora didn't know.

O'Brien re-entered the bedroom and with the noise of her arrival, Jane and Robert parted company next door.

"I've brought up some fresh water, hopefully it'll pull down your temperature," O'Brien offered a meek smile and set the basin down. Cora just stared out of the window, her eyes glassy and vibrant blue. She'd had no choice but to listen. She'd been unable to hide, she couldn't move for the little energy she had, she just had to listen. Robert said so many things that he'd said to her. Exact sentences and phrases he'd strung together to emphasise, to personify the way he loved her.

Knowing Robert had done exactly the same thing was no consolation for the guilt she felt about what she'd done with Evelyn Napier. But hearing Robert so effortlessly speak affections to Jane made her feel her life with him had almost been under false pretence. Cora really had believed he'd loved her with the same strength she loved him. Perhaps it was all an act, puppeteered and controlled by Robert and his mother and she had gone along with it all, believing every word to be endearing and above anything else true.

"Milady?" O'Brien had been talking and taking care of her and she'd not realised. Because that was when the grips of sickness drew their long fingers around Cora and clutched.

* * *

"The doctor! Please someone fetch Doctor Clarkson immediately!" O'Brien yelled while charging down the stairs.

"Just what is going on?" Mrs Hughes asked.

"It's her ladyship, she's taken a bad turn - she's bleeding."

"What's going on?" Anna came wandering through with a bunch of towels.

"Go straight back to her, Miss O'Brien. I will send Thomas down for the doctor. Anna, could you tell his lordship and the ladies that Lady Grantham has taken a bad turn."

"Everything alright?" Jane asked, hurrying through from the kitchen upon hearing the commotion. Anna and Miss O'Brien hurried back up the stairs.

"Her ladyship's taken ill, Jane," Mrs Hughes informed.

"What's going on?" Thomas asked, coming down the stairs.

"Ah, Thomas. Would you quickly go and send for the doctor for her ladyship."

"Of course, I'll go straight away," Thomas hurried down the stairs and out the back door.

"I think I'll help Miss O'Brien," Mrs Hughes decided.

"Anything I can do, Mrs Hughes?" Jane asked.

"I don't think so... Just go about your duties... and pray."

* * *

Blood. And coughing. And sick. And sweat. Robert's worst nightmare. She looked terrible, he'd never seen her so ill - never seen anyone so ill. Not in his guarded lifestyle. Maybe it was the shock, perhaps that was why he registered no emotion on his face, did nothing, said nothing, only stared. The threat of loosing her was as close as it seemed it would ever be. He felt his heart turn to ice in his chest as he hurriedly regretted almost everything of the past 24 hours. Everything except the few endearing pieces of truth he'd shared with her in the drawing room just the evening before.

Mary reacted about as well as Robert did. Edith watched in horror while things got worse. Sybil helped O'Brien with mopping up the blood and sweat, unbothered by what mess she made of her attire.

"The doctor is here," Mrs Hughes announced solemly, opening the door wide for Doctor Clarkson and one of the hospital nurses as they hurried into the room. The doctor put down his bag and quickly rid of his coat while the nurse prepared his equipment.

"What can we do?" Sybil asked, moving out of the way with O'Brien.

"I'm afraid the disease is very unstable, we can't be sure just yet..."

"There are treatments available?" Mary asked, breaking out of her stupor.

"Unfortunately Spanish Flu has recently developed to become far more severe than its previous form," Clarkson answered quickly, simultaneously taking instruments from the nurse and checking Cora's temperature. "Lady Grantham is experiencing severe symptoms, there's little medication we can provide."

"What does that mean?" Edith asked.

"We cannot be sure yet if... In time we'll know."

Cora seized up in another coughing fit, gasping for air to fill her lungs. Perhaps it would be better to leave the world now, Cora thought amongst the haze of searing temperature and tiredness. Her three children were all grown, her purpose was done as far as Downton was concerned. And Robert... he'd be free from his vows to her. She could be free and let Robert be free too...

"What's happening?" Robert rasped. He'd been so caught up in his thoughts he'd missed half of what the doctor had said. He shifted past everyone and sat down beside Cora on the bed, contemplating taking her hand and if she'd mind. "What can we do?" he asked, looking up at anyone for an answer. Nobody had a reply. None of his children were crying yet but he could tell they wanted to. Their eyes were filled with a fighting hope and a determination to block out sorrow. He turned back to his wife.

"Cora?" he asked, tentatively taking her hand. She was gasping, struggling for air, her sight unfocused on anything. Eyes closed, open, closed.

"Robert," she breathed. "I'm... sorry."

"Don't apologise. Oh God, don't apologise. You're not leaving me here," he grasped her hand tighter and continued in quieter tones. "I'm the one who should be sorry... Please stay with me."

Her breaths were getting shorter, more difficult. Her eyes rested on him and did not shift.

"You're not going anywhere," he choked on the rising lump in his throat. "Cora, please."

"Mama?" Sybil asked through tears, gently she shook her shoulder. Cora didn't move. The doctor moved back to the bedside and put two fingers to her neck.

"God. Cora don't go. Stay with me," Robert said desperately. "Please."

* * *

**"Don't ever question if I love you or not, Robert because whether I want to or not, I always will. Regardless of your faults and mine and how battered my heart is for loving you, do not doubt that I love you."**

_**"She loves you a great deal, Mr Crawley."**_

_**"Who does?"**_

_**"Who else? ...Who do you want it to be?"  
**_

_**Robert withdrew his hand, his brow furrowed. **_

_**"I'm a little uncomfortable with-"**_

_**"Ah, yes, I know."**_

_**"I just want to know where I'll be in a year or so."**_

_**"Where you'll be? Physically or mentally?" The woman permitted herself a chuckle. "Let me find my pack of cards."**_

_**"I don't really want to play cards-"**_

_**"No, no, no, Mr Crawley. We're not going to play with these. We read them."**_

_**Robert had gone searching for liberation and found further annoyance. However he allowed himself to be taken further on the ride of lunacy purely out of curiosity and particularly because he didn't want to go back to Downton yet. **_

_**"Cut the cards and put them back together." Robert did as he'd been instructed. She picked them up and fanned them. "Draw a card and lay it flat."  
**_

_**Robert pulled a card from the deck, turning it over and finding himself utterly horrified for the second time that day. He looked up at the reader, her eyes did not meet his. **_

_**"Ah... well. That is hard luck. But it doesn't always mean that-"**_

_**"Doesn't always mean what? What else does this card mean but what is written on it? It says death."**_


	9. Don't Want To Lose You

_A/N: Hello, dear readers. I have been meaning to write a disclaimer for like 8 chapters now so I'll put one here. Also, I am dabbling with exsisting plot lines that happened in the show (like for instance the Spanish Flu and Tom and Sybil). But that doesn't by any means mean I'll be following them at all as they happen. I hadn't realised how much I'd wanted to fit into this story so we aren't quite done yet. And also I'd like to add that I have up-most respect for fortune-tellers and so on, I hope I do their practises justice here (I did do plenty of research). Thank you again to all who review.  
_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, all of Downton belongs to Mr Lordy Fellowes. I am just turning things into a big warped ball of my own making. Enjoy..._

* * *

9. Don't Want To Lose You

_**"You leave now, you'll regret doing it."**_

_**"I already regret coming here in the first place!"**_

_**"You won't... let's see what comes next. Please draw..." After some hesitation Robert sat back down and drew a new card. "Ah, the Emperor."**_

_**"Is it another omen?" Robert asked miserably.**_

_**"Of course not. No, this is you. Desire for rule over all... Not everyone benefits from your control, Mr Crawley... Pick again."**_

_**Robert grumbled but picked another card and flipped it over. **_

_**"Ooh..." the woman's eyes gleamed and she smiled. Robert turned a shade of crimson but quickly remembered his first card.**_

_**"Will whoever dies leave two people together?"**_

_**"I've already told you death does not always mean death!"**_

_**"Why is this card upside down?"**_

_**"It is the Lovers reversed, it is likely to mean the fool has acted on his whims with no real thought for the consequences of his actions... usually." **_

_**Robert was beginning to feel increasingly uncomfortable dabbling in the unusual practises going on before him.**_

_**"Can you tell me who'll die?" he asked.**_

_**"What have I told you?"**_

_**"Can you tell me if someone will die?"**_

_**"...Fine. As you're so intent on the finishing of things and not the life of things, I'll tell you what I read. I see a great deal of death here, Mr Crawley. Physically and otherwise. There are lots of endings coming soon for you and you cannot control them - not all of them, some of them you can. I see a very distinct finish that looms right above your head."**_

* * *

"Her pulse is very faint but it's there and it's constant. Would everyone vacate the room please? We're going to need some space. Miss O'Brien would you and Mrs Hughes please fetch more cold and hot water and towels and ask Mrs Patmoore if she has some bran or oats? Nurse, could you take care of the blood please?"

Doctor Clarkson began rolling up his sleeves while Sybil, Edith and Mary hesitantly made for the door.

"Come on papa, we have to let them do their job now," Edith said with a loud sniff.

"It doesn't feel right leaving her..."

"Lord Grantham, I assure you we'll do everything possible and keep you very well informed. You're welcome to wait just outside the door if you wish?"

"Alright..." Robert said slowly, squeezing Cora's hand before letting go. "I'll see you soon," he told her. She seemed to be murmuring something but Robert had no idea what and he had not time to find out as he was shown out of the room.

He waited on the landing outside her room for what felt like hours as people came and went from the bedroom. His thoughts swirled in his head, making him sick by his own imaginings. What could his future possible hold now? After checking on Cora's progress, he went about starting the first ending.

It didn't take long to find Jane. She was of the few staff unclaimed by the disease and so she was hurrying around all over the house delivering food or water. They bumped into one another near the staircase that lead downstairs.

"Oh... What can I do for you milord?"

"This might not be the most appropriate time but we need to talk."

"Alright," she nodded, following him into the library, still holding a bundle of towels. Robert closed the door and turned to her.

"I think we need to end things between us right now," he said without much care for being gentle or diplomatic.

"I... I see," she frowned. "But... but my Lord, only a few hours ago we were-"

"Things have changed considerably in the space of a few hours. I'd misinterpreted something... something vital."

"I thought," she bit her lip, trying not to cry. "I thought you loved me."

"I'm very sorry. I will give you what is owing to you plus a decent bonus. Once illness is out of the house I would like you to leave."

"I hope she gets better you know... I wouldn't wish anyone ill or worse. But I thought that you were unhappy... I could have made you happy."

"I believed that a few hours ago... This is the last time we will speak of this," he said flatly, making her quaver.

"Might I... Might I have one last kiss? To take with me..." Had Cora's health not been so precarious he might have considered.

"No," he shook his head. "I do that and you might be the last person I kiss in Cora's lifetime. I won't live with that. Excuse me, I need to get back to my wife."

* * *

"How is she?" Robert asked. "Can I see her?"

Doctor Clarkson had come to the door, wiping his hands on a towel.

"If Lady Grantham survives the rest of the night, best chances are she will live," he told him honestly. "She seems a little better but her condition is still unstable. She needs plenty of fluid and lots of rest."

"Can I see her?"

"Of course. Lady Sybil is with her."

"Thank you," Robert said sincerely. The doctor nodded and moved out of the doorway for him. Robert went in, bracing himself for the vision of few hours earlier. She was sleeping, and to his relief she looked peaceful. Her long deep breaths a solid and welcome assurance of her life. Sybil smiled and got up from where she perched next to Cora. O'Brien got to her feet and left to go and get some fresh water, giving the three of them a moment to themselves.

"It's awful isn't it? How something like this makes you realise how trivial some things can be," Sybil said, watching Robert sit down beside Cora and take her hand. Robert nodded in agreement. "You'll get on better won't you, papa? Only... I know you and mama haven't been like usual for a while."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Not entirely... Maybe just a little."

"We will go back to how we were," he said with a renewed confidence. "I think we'd lost sight of each other for a while there... You know all I want for you is to find what we've got, don't you? I just want you to be absolutely certain..."

"Oh I am certain, papa. Absolutely."

Robert nodded and then sighed.

"Well then. If you're really sure... You have my blessing - _our_ blessing."

"Thank you papa. I know you'll like him once you get to know him," Sybil said, trying to hold in her excitement.

"Mm, we'll see..."

The doctor came back in for his medical bag.

"I'd best take my leave now," he told them. "If you keep someone with her until morning to continue treatment processes, then everyone might do well from trying to get some sleep."

"Alright, I'll go tell the others, they're in the drawing room," Sybil got up, giving Robert a reassuring smile as she left. The doctor collected his bag and left, content to show himself out. Robert stayed beside her, taking the oppurtunity for a moment alone.

"Thank you..." he whispered. "Thank you for holding on for me... for us."

He stroked her hair, careful not to wake her.

"I'll forgive you anything and everything you ask if only you open those eyes again and ask it," he told her, trying to stop from welling up. "I can't do this without you, Cora. Wake up for me in the morning," he pressed a kiss to her temple and sat back in his chair, quietly observing her until O'Brien returned to keep watch over her for him.

* * *

_**"Madam Magie, with all due respect, is there a chance your readings are... well, wrong?" **_

_**"Mr Crawley, I am not popular for getting things wrong. You must remember that when consulting cards, positivity will do well for what we interpret from them. Draw another one if you feel the need. If not, three cards will do well."**_

_**Robert considered the horseshoe fan of cards she offered as well as the three already placed on the table. He felt drawn to a particular one at the edge of the pack, so he took it and slowly turned it over. **_

_**"The Star," he read.  
**_

_**"Oh good."**_

_**"What does it mean?"  
**_

_**"Individually, it often can mean hope. Calm after a storm, soft waves."**_

_**"...Right," Robert said a little skeptically though remaining quietly pleased to have pulled out a good card, he felt the urge to pick another. He drew one more with Madam Magie giving a nod in consent. Robert revealed the card.  
**_

_**"The Empress..." the woman announced, a thin eyebrow rising at this as she took the card and placed it with the spread."Care to draw another or are you content with the cards before you?"  
**_

_**"I don't want to push my luck... I think that'll do," he said gruffly, sitting back in his chair and awaiting her analysis while keeping a wary eye on the Empress card. **_

_**"Alright," she put the other cards aside, slightly altering the position of the cards Robert had picked, her hands hovered over each of the five spread cards in turn. Death, The Emperor, The Lovers reversed, The Star, The Empress. "The fool - that's you by the way-"  
**_

_**"I thought I was the Emperor?"**_

_**"You can be more than one thing, you know..." she said wittingly. "The fool has loved and lost and will love again. A significant finish will give all rise to a great calm... But it will not last. The Lovers still love. An outsider draws close with a lasting effect. The fool's ruin leaves another's owing..."  
**_

_**"Can you be a bit more specific?" **_

_**The madam gave a highly unimpressed look.  
**_

_**"I see a lot of recent anger in you," she said. "Some to come. Some to fade. Some to stay. What has already been done cannot be undone, for what is done is done."  
**_


	10. A Fool

10. A Fool

_**"A pleasure doing business, Mr Crawley..."**_

_**"Mm, likewise certainly," Robert mumbled, the coins clinking together as he deposited them in her hand with a few notes. **_

_**"You be careful with that temper now."**_

_**"Who says I have a temper?"**_

_**"I do. It might be your un-doing. Think on what you have, what you want and what you need."**_

_**"Yes... certainly."**_

_**"Bye now."**_

* * *

"It's so good to see you looking better," Robert smiled, coming into the room and making O'Brien hurry to leave. Cora looked up and seemed surprised both by his comment and his genuine look of relief.

"Good morning," she managed. Robert closed the door behind O'Brien and walked around the bed.

"May I?"

She looked a bit confused but nodded. He sat at the side of her bed, leaning in to press his lips softly and shortly to hers. A girlish flush filled her cheeks.

"I'm glad you came," she said, folding her hands in her lap.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't remember much of last night..."

"I was here," he assured her.

"You were? I remember looking at you but I thought it was a dream..."

"I was so worried about you."

"I've been worried about you."

"Why's that?" he asked.

"We can talk about it later..."

"If you have something say, please say it. I don't think it could matter, I'm so relieved to see you looking better."

"I heard... I heard you together next door. When I was in here," she explained slowly. Robert stiffened. "I thought things between us had truly become unmendable. I didn't want... I felt so terribly, terribly guilty for what I'd done, Robert. Then I heard you talking to her the way you used to talk to me and I just... Well, anyway. I'm here now."

"And I'll be thankful for every day to come that you are." His sentiment cut her deeply and made her bleed raw with guilt.

"Robert..."

"I'm sorry you had to hear what I said... I wasn't even thinking. I just kept thinking of you and..." the other name escaped him.

"Don't forgive me yet Robert, please... I still feel so awful," she tried to hang onto the tears but they escaped, slipping down her cheeks in effortless little streams.

"Don't cry..." he whispered, delicately brushing them away with the pad of his thumb. "I don't expect things to be alright straight away... But I want them to get better. I want us to be happy."

"Oh Robert," Cora shook her head. "I can't forgive myself."

"You will in time," he said gently. "...Unless you were in love with him?"

"No! Goodness, no..."

"We'll be just fine then," he told her, feeling all his doubts settle like floating dust and sand to the bottom of a sea bed. "Like we used to be."

"Like we used to be," she whispered. He took her hand and clasped it with both of his, kissing her palm affectionately.

"I heard Mr Carson has improved... And Lavinia is well too," Cora said after a few minutes, drying her eyes.

"Yes, we've been very lucky. Though many of the servants that fell ill didn't make it. I know it's not strictly proper but I feel I ought to attend the funerals."

"I'll come with you if I can."

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation.

"Come in," Robert called. The doctor entered, closing the door behind himself.

"I've just come to do a check-up, is now a good time?"

"Absolutely," Robert got up. "Would it be best if I left?"

"Maybe..." Cora replied. "But don't go too far."

"I'll be right outside."

Robert left the room feeling far more fresh and free of emotional burden than he had done in a long time. Cora was well, their family was protected. Nobody he knew had died. He was just starting to feel light on his feet again. Even what the old woman had said in his prophecy didn't phase him. Nothing could bring him down. The Spring sunshine was bright and glorious, he was the master of his house, ruler of his estate and business. He was Lord Grantham. An Emperor.

* * *

Over that week, Cora progressed back to full health and accompanied Robert to the funerals of the two young hall boys, three maids and the newly promoted footman the house had lost. Downton village grieved, with the rest of England, for the great number of souls lost to the deadly influenza and prayed thanks for the lucky survivors.

Jane left the Abbey's employment swiftly and cleanly and though she loitered for some words with Robert, she received none. The house benefited from the new and noticeable partnership between the Earl and Countess. Even as their first challenge drew nearer in supporting one another in Sybil's departure for Irish soil, it seemed things were finally getting back to normal. He held her as she watched the train leave, he consoled her in private when they got home and Sybil wasn't there... They were getting stronger again.

And then a few weeks later, a letter arrived.

Cora had taken her morning mail outdoors, sitting in the shade on one of the many outdoor benches, she came to an envelope with hand-writing she didn't recognise. It was short, fat and scribbley writing that made Cora wonder how the delivery boys had even read it.

Slicing through the envelope, she then withdrew two folded pieces of strong parchment with a very different hand-writing printed across it.

_Dear Lady Grantham,_

Cora took a sharp intake of breath. Her stomach churned with nervousness and feelings that unsettled her. She knew that hand and she certainly didn't want to read what it said. Stuffing the paper back into the envelope, Cora put the letter to the bottom of her pile and later disposed of it piece by piece - without reading its contents. Letters like those would soon become common in her morning mail...

* * *

"Gosh, Cora! It's freezing. Come back to bed."

"I will, I will! I was just looking."

"What were you looking at?" Robert asked as Cora replaced the curtain and climbed back into beside him.

"The stars. I like looking at them afterwards."

Robert frowned, suddenly deep in thought. _The Stars_.

"Are you alright, darling?" she smoothed back his hair and kissed his jaw.

"Mm, fine..." he said absent-mindedly.

"Oh?" Cora raised an eyebrow, her arms around his neck while she kissed his cheek. "You seem... very... preoccupied," she said between kisses.

Robert grinned and looked her in her eyes.

"I love it when you smile that way at me," he whispered, his own grin fading as he took on a sincerity to his voice.

"Careful Lord Grantham, you might just flatter me," she kissed his nose and relinquished her embrace, snuggling down under the covers and closing her eyes. He lay down beside her, leaning on his side and gazing at her. Her lips quirked up into a smile.

"Go to sleep, Robert."

"One more time?" he whispered, already playing with the hem of her night dress.

"You've had me twice already..."

"So?"

"Alright, but I'm just going to lie here. You've tired me out."

"I bet you won't 'just lie there'," he said, pulling down his drawers already and preparing to roll between her legs.

"I will..." she yawned.

"Coraaa?" he sing-songed at her. She opened her eyes and pretended annoyance. "Let's fondle," he growled, making her giggle.

"Oh, Robert! No," she half-heartedly fought him back but his weight was above her, his lips sucking at her neck, one hand cradling her head of long dark curls.

"Now, Lady Grantham," he said, keeping up his bravado. "Tell me how you're going to lie there and do nothing when I coddle you down here..."

"Ow!"

"What?" his head shot back up.

"Did you just bite me?"

"No," he looked at her like it was an absurd question. "I just did this." His mouth went to her skin again and he received the same reaction. "I thought you liked that!" he protested.

"Well usually, yes, but not quite so hard."

"I wasn't being..." he sighed, getting increasingly frustrated, he rolled back onto his side of the bed. "Was he too hard when he did it?"

"Robert!"

"Well was he?"

"I thought we'd reached an understanding about this..."

"I'm going to sleep in my dressing room, I can't talk about this when we're both tired."

* * *

"There we are, milady," Miss O'Brien set down the breakfast tray.

"Thank you, O'Brien... That will be all."

O'Brien left and Robert entered looking equally as tired as Cora did.

"I'm sorry about last night," he said before he could get a word in. "I don't know what came over me..."

"I'm sorry too. I don't want to argue... We'd been doing well for these first few months, maybe we deserve a bit of a lapse."

"Maybe... I've some things to do in Ripon today if you'd like to come with me? I thought we could have lunch together, take a walk?"

"I'd have loved to, but I've a few things to do today. Maybe next time..."

"Alright," he said, trying to hide his disappointment. "Are you going anywhere? Maybe I can drop you off?"

"I've some correspondence to take care of and then I'll go into the village with Mary - we're looking at wedding cakes."

"She really is still serious about Carlisle?"

"It appears so... though they've not set a date yet so who knows why we're looking at cakes."

"Well... good luck," he smiled, reaching her side of the bed and leaning in to kiss her parted lips. "I am sorry, you know."

"I know..."

"I'd better get going then. I'll see you this afternoon."

"Alright, darling."

Cora watched the door close and she looked down at her breakfast. A couple of letters sat beside her tea pot. A cream one with fat scribbley writing sent dread coursing through her. Moving her tray, she fought with a replaying memory that brought back one of the greatest regrets of her life. Her head swirled with unease as she virtually watched herself admitting Evelyn into her bedroom and further to the very bed where she sat. It was no longer thoughts of Robert's inadvertence that disturbed her so, but her own misguidance that plagued Cora with self-doubt. And the letters that now frequented her post every other day were simply tarrying with the process of letting her contrition go.


	11. Sad But True

11. Sad But True

"Where would you like to go now?" Cora asked, as they made their way back to the car. She was heavily focussed on her outing with Mary to shut out paying attention to her own troubles. They had gone into town to look at material for her going abroad wardrobe. Edith had been axed from the outing after making rude remarks about wedding cake ideas when they were out together two weeks before and so it was only Cora and Mary out shopping.

"We could see if Miss Opal has anything new in? What kind of style do you want?"

"I don't know what it is I want... I just want to look."

"Mary, are you happy with Richard?"

"Why must everyone keep on asking me that? We're perfectly fine."

"You shouldn't be fine, you should be over-joyed-"

"Lady Grantham?" Doctor Clarkson called, waving once while hurrying towards them. Cora watched him approach, vaguely confused. "I'm sorry to interrupt but might I have a word?"

"What's this about?" Cora asked.

"I wouldn't want to alarm you unnecessarily... But... do you have a moment?"

Mary watched with slight suspicion as her mother and the doctor spoke hushedly a few feet from where she stood beside the car. Mary looked around impatiently, scanning the crowds of many busy people out and about doing their business. Cora gave a loud gasp above the noise, drawing Mary's attention straight back to them. Cora's hands were over her mouth, her eyes wide at the doctor who seemed to be looking very serious and talking rather quickly. Mary pretended not to have seen when Cora made her way back to her and the motor.

"What did he want?"

"Oh, nothing..." Cora put on an uneasy smile and wrung her hands together. "I'm sorry Mary, I'm afraid we'll have to cut this short and get back to Downton. I have a few things to sort out with your father."

"He won't be back from Ripon until well into the afternoon. The kitchen staff aren't even expecting us for luncheon... Mama?" Cora was shivering, barely holding herself presentably. "You don't look very well."

"I'm fine. I'll be... fine," she breathed. "But I need to go back to the house. If you want to stay out that's fine, of course."

"No, I'll come with you. I'm not really into all this wedding fiasco today."

"Alright, well. I have to send a telegram first so we'll go there on the way."

* * *

The car took them directly from the telegram office back to the big house where Cora got out and went straight upstairs while Mary languished in her loss for an activity. Upon reaching her bedroom, Cora hurriedly and inexpertly began throwing things from her wardrobe onto her bed while she waited for O'Brien to come up.

"You called for me, milady?"

"Yes. I'll be going to London, O'Brien. This evening's 6 o'clock train will take us, I'll be going for two days. Are you happy to accompany me there?"

"Of course, milady. Shall I tell Mr Bates?"

"No, Rob- Lord Grantham won't be coming with us. Can you be ready by 5 o'clock?"

"Certainly. I'll go about getting things ready straight away."

"Thank you. Have Mrs Hughes know you have my consent to delay your other duties."

"Of course, milady."

O'Brien went from the room to collect suitcases and such, with time for a quick fag, a bitch and a moan to Thomas and then ensuring all was ready for Lady Grantham's unusual and sudden request.

* * *

Robert arrived back at Downton that afternoon having done a good days business out in Ripon seeing to some contracts and such. After an enthusiastic business day, he did not anticipate his personal affairs to turn to mush... Slightly worn and weary from a days work, he went straight up to get changed and then checked into Cora's room.

"My, you look quite flustered," Robert said on entering. And then he saw the travel cases. "Are you going somewhere?"

"I'm going to London. A bit of a sudden development I realise, but I've some things to do."

"Well... how long are you going? I could come with you if-"

"No, I couldn't pull you away from your business. It's only two days and I'll be busy anyway."

"What did you say you're going for again?"

"I have some things to pick up and I thought I'd call on Rosamund."

"Some things? Can't you get a servant to go collect them or have them put it on the train?"

"No, Robert, it's not that kind of..." she took a few deep breaths, trying to steady herself as her pulse sky-rocketed as she struggled to produce answers to his questions. "I have a few errands to run anyway. It's only a couple of days."

"What time are you going?"

"The train leaves at 6 so we'll leave soon."

"This has all come about rather quickly. Are you sure there isn't something you've not told me?"

Cora shook her head.

"I really must be going."

"Can't you take a later train?"

"I don't want to arrive too late... I'll keep in touch, I promise."

"Well, cant... can't you go tomorrow? Give the staff time to open the house?"

"I already had a telegram sent, they're expecting O'Brien and I this evening."

"Cora, can't-"

"No, I have to go. It's only two days, Robert. Surely you can survive by yourself until then."

"Why are you being like this? I can't help feeling there's something going on here. Why don't I come with you?"

"You have things to do here, I have things to do there. I'll be busy, you'll get bored."

"I won't get bored, I could go and see Lord James-"

"Robert, I need space!"

"...What?"

A knock on the door interrupted them.

"Come in," Cora called. O'Brien and Anna entered.

"We've just come for the suitcases, milady. We can wait-?"

"No, that's alright," Cora waved them in, then turning to Robert. "I have to go... I'll see you Thursday."

* * *

Violet was as dumbstruck by Cora's disappearance as Robert. Calling it 'highly demanding and unladylike' to go marching off to London with no solid reason and especially so to go by herself. Dinner was a quiet affair that evening, Lavinia and Matthew had moved into Crawley House with Isobel just a matter of days before and Carlisle was in London tending to his business so only Robert, Violet, Edith and Mary dined together, making for very sorry dinner conversation.

That night Robert curled up on Cora's side of the bed, drifting towards sleep with the vague scent of her perfume on the pillow. His only comfort while he worried constantly, pining for the relief he'd feel when he held her in his arms again...

Cora had arrived at the house in London quite late and so all that was to be done once she was dressed for bed was to read a letter and a telegram that had ended up in the evening post. Settling herself into bed once she was ready, she opened them by the glow of her bed-side light. First opening the letter, she knew it was from Rosamund.

_Cora dear,  
__Lovely to hear from you. I do hope you and darling baby brother are keeping well. I suppose I could entertain you tomorrow afternoon around 4. Pop in to Eaton Square and we can take tea. I suppose you don't want to go out if you're to tell me this suspicious secret of yours. See you tomorrow dear.  
Rosamund._

Cora sighed and set the letter aside, turning to the telegram and opening it.

_Mrs Crawley,  
We're pleased to confirm we have an appointment space for you on Thursday the 15th at 9am with Doctor Grove as the doctor you requested is otherwise booked until next week. If there is an issue, please contact us at your earliest convenience, otherwise we have set aside the appointment for you. __Yours sincerely,  
Miss Lopet  
J & P London Practise_

With a steadying breath, Cora put the telegram to the side with the letter from Rosamund. She turned out the light, leaving the room in darkness. She instantly wished she had Robert's arms around her, soothing her, settling her worries. She drew her knees up to her chest and let herself cry. Long and painful sobs wracked her body with great effort. Her face contorted with her upset, the tears flooded and soaked up in the pillow case and sheets. She cried until she was truly spent of emotion, too tired to fight the abandon of sleep.

* * *

"Now, you must tell me what all this is all about. Why did you leave Robert at home?"

"Believe me Rosamund, I wish I hadn't..."

"Ooh, how interesting. Do go on," Rosamund said, taking to a seat with a gleeful smile on her lips. Cora sat down also, wearing a prim expression as she waited to hear the door shut, signally the absence of servants and their ears.

"It's not certain yet... But I need your word you won't tell anyone."

"How very secretive, I am intrigued... Alright you have my word," Rosamund rolled her eyes, not taking it nearly as seriously as Cora had hoped.

* * *

"Good morning, Mrs Crawley. You've been, err..." the smartly dressed middle-aged doctor behind the desk scanned his notes. "You've been advised by your local doctor to visit us."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry your preferred doctor was unavailable today. Are you happy to proceed with me?"

"Yes, that's fine," Cora fidgeted nervously in her seat and wished she wasn't there alone.

"Alright then, would you like to follow me please?"

* * *

Cora walked back up the big stone steps to the door of the London House. A mild humidity had settled over London and made her itch to be indoors.

"Lady Grantham?"

"Yes?" Cora responded before turning around and seeing exactly who she didn't want to see.

"How..." he wondered how best to talk to her. "How have you been? I had heard you were ill."

"I'm quite well... thank you."

"It's good to see you." Cora had nothing to say, the footman had opened the door, finding safety in the house beckoned. "Have you been getting my letters?"

"I have but I've not read them," she said honestly.

"Have you a moment? I should like to talk..."

"I haven't I'm sorry."

"Could I call on you while you're here?"

"I'm leaving this afternoon. Good day Mr Napier."


	12. This Girl's Warm Embrace

12. This Girl's Warm Embrace

Cora's time in London passed by in a blur for her but it felt like weeks for Robert. He had received word that she would be back at Downton that day at 3 o'clock. In Cora's absence, Robert had told his mother of the concerns he had over her sudden business in London and the way she had conducted her departure. Of course he had immediately feared the worst that she'd gone to see The (Dis)Honourable Evelyn Napier. But he had a renewed trust in her and prayed that the man was not the reason she'd gone.

That was until he remembered a certain card he had pulled from a certain unusual deck. '_The Lovers still love. An outsider draws close with a lasting effect.' _Robert only had one interpretation for those words and it did not mean a good outcome for him. Only Violet had been able restrain him from boarding the next train to London and though she didn't know about the scandal involving Napier, her words had temporarily settled him nonetheless.

She was there waiting beside Robert on the drive when Cora's motor pulled up in the early afternoon of that day. O'Brien hopped out first and began telling the newly employed footmen which bags were which. Thomas opened the door and helped her ladyship from the motor. Everyone else, servants plus Mary and Edith, remained indoors going about their business.

"Robert... hello mama," Cora greeted them with a tiredness that made Robert instantly feel on-edge.

"Cora, dear. How was your trip?" Violet asked, not bothering to keep the dubiety from her voice.

"Alright, thank you. Rosamund sends her love... Robert are you alright?" she came up to greet him properly, receiving a stiff embrace from him.

"Just fine."

"Let's go indoors," the Dowager said. "They've laid tea in the library."

"I'm actually rather tired from the journey. Would you mind excusing me?"

"I would mind and I think you'll find so would Robert," Violet said, with clear disapproving she ended the discussion there. Nobody spoke again until all three of them were in the library and the servants had left them to themselves. Cora sunk into a chair, Robert stayed standing and Violet occupied a seat opposite Cora, beside the tea table.

"Robert, dear. Why don't you voice your doubts," Violet suggested. He frowned, somewhat disliking being mediated in such a way.

"Thank you, mama," he said. "I just wonder what you were doing in London. You didn't even say what you were going there to do."

"I had some people to see..."

"And it was really that urgent?" Robert asked.

"What people?" Violet prompted.

"Rosamund and... some of the ladies we usually see during the season. I thought it might be nice to catch up... Talk of things beside war and flu." Cora said carefully, keeping her eyes to the floor the whole time she spoke.

"But everybody is still so scared to go out. I hardly think people would have welcomed social calls," Violet said.

"And why the hurry? I could have come with you if-" Robert began but got cut short.

"Robert, I told you. I appreciate we're starting to make things work again but I just needed some space."

"Space to go and see him?" Robert's tone raised, Violet looked clueless but remained quiet anyway.

"What?" Cora frowned, searching his face some kind of answer. "No... Oh Robert, no. Of course not..."

"Then give me some decent and excusable reason!"

"Calm down, Robert," Violet warned. "Anger won't solve anything."

Robert breathed deeply and then tried again.

"I don't understand why after all the progress we have made, you're going backwards. You're shutting me out again," he said, moving to take to an empty seat.

"I don't mean to shut you out..." Cora said while warily rubbing her eyes.

"Well you are," Robert said, trying not to sound as annoyed as he felt.

"My dear I think you ought to tell the truth," Violet advised Cora. "It can't be worth keeping secret over the sake of your marriage."

"If you'll just let me have more time," Cora pleaded them both. "I promise I'll explain everything. I just need... Oh, I don't know what I need," she sat back in her chair, one hand covering her face.

"Is it really worth saving, Cora?" Violet was staring across at her, Cora looking back at her through a gap between her fingers. "Is whatever this is worth keeping quiet over the sake of your husband's turmoil?"

Cora bit her lip and dropped her hand, looking down to the floor again.

"So I am missing something," Robert decided, standing again and looking back and forth between them. Cora took a deep breath and looked up at him, her eyes had glazed over with tears that threatened to fall on the next blink.

"You're not the one that missed something, Robert," Cora said slowly, her gaze moved from him back to Violet. "_I did._"

It took Violet all of a few seconds to click with what Cora had said. And when she did, she gasped. Robert was growing frustrated and worried by his mother's reaction.

"What? What is it?" he asked, looking to either of them for an answer. Both women remained quiet. Cora swallowed her tears and finally broke her eyes away from Violet to meet Robert's gaze. His brow creased with concern as he waited for her explanation.

"Robert, darling," her voice was little over a whisper. Her left hand moved from her lap and settled at her stomach with a very slow and deliberate motion. "I'm pregnant."

There was absolute quiet. Save for Violet's quiet giggles of glee that she quickly stifled when she recognised Robert not to be quite so pleased as she was.

"You're..." Robert stared pointedly at her stomach and audibly swallowed. "Excuse me," his voice broke on the request as he tried to make it to the door without showing his upset.

"I'm sorry," she said to him as he left the room. "Please, I'm sorry," Cora near-begged as she choked on the tight clutch of her own lament.

The Dowager very slowly pivoted her head from where Robert had exited back to her daughter-in-law with an eagle-eyed stare.

"I won't be long. Think on how you're going to explain yourself," Violet rose and stalked out.

Cora sat down. Her breathing had grown slightly ragged, her heart thumping at speed. Her palm lay still against her abdomen.

"I will try so very hard to love you," she looked down and whispered, pausing when she heard Robert shout truths about her and Napier. "But right now it's difficult to think how I ever will."

* * *

"I want a divorce!"

"Robert, you don't mean that," Violet scolded.

"Maybe in future I won't but right now I do - I want a divorce."

"You know how things are for our kind of people. Society will not accept-"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT SOCIETY ACCEPTS! SHE BROKE MY HEART... Mama, she broke my heart."

Violet sucked in a breath and held it, trying her best to negotiate the best course of soothing her son's distress. She hadn't seen him cry in years, for the most part he was very good at holding himself together until privacy granted him chance to let go.

"Dear, I know you're hurting... I too am disgraced by her actions. But if there's a chance the child is yours- why not bet on it?"

"I don't want to hold false hope."

"But it won't be false, not if there's a genuine chance. Come now Robert, even you know you will get past this. Whatever so rapidly brought you together after Cora's flu will cement you again now."

"I didn't want to lose her."

"And you still don't."

"Why are you trying to drive me back to her? I can't forgive her, I hardly believe that you can either," he found frustration more welcoming over heart ache.

"Of course I haven't. I'll never look at Cora with an ounce of respect or gratitude again. But you will."


	13. Now People Let Me Put You Wise

_A/N: Hey guys! I had a wee query about timescale here so I thought I'd just outline it for anyone else who found the previous chapter at all confusing. Chapter 12 is set in end of April/early May, we're now about to bunny-hop forward to late July. We began back in Feb/March of 1919 (historically this is a few months after the second wave of Sp. flu and the Downton household suffers the third wave - I do my research tyvm.) So yes, we're now about to whizz forward to where - if my calculations are right - Cora is about five months. Nobody panic, I have promised my focus is Cobert and Cobert it shall be. I'm just having a spot of fun playing with you guys ;P  
I apologise for not updating last week. My bad... Oh and also, in the 3 months jump, Matthew regained walking ability.  
_

_Do keep the reviews coming - good, bad or ugly, it's nice to read what you guys think.  
_

_Disclaimer: I own nowt._

* * *

13. Now People Let Me Put You Wise  


_3 months later  
Late July 1919_

So many months on and the Earl and Countess existed with one another, around on another as though ghosts haunting the same space. Large as the abbey was, it didn't grant complete separation. They'd attempted to talk things out but were left with no straight-forward answer. Robert had reeled in his threat for divorce, Cora had offered no suggestion on how to ease the strain they were under. They waited until the fuse was at its shortest before finally confronting what each had put off thinking about. Telling people.

Cora was five months pregnant, her maid had noticed, other people would too. The time for an announcement had come. And great debate and confusion would come with Robert's hostile performance as the happy father and Cora's teary broken-down stare. Smiles were on shortage the night they'd chosen to release the news. A range of reactions came of the bizarrely casual and somewhat nonchalant way Robert announced his wife would bear another child.

"Oh for goodness sake."

"Mary!" Violet berated her eldest grand-daughter. "Show some decency."

"I think it's terrific," Edith beamed. "I should be glad to have another baby brother or sister. It'll be nice."

Mary groaned, "stop buttering up, Edith. You aren't getting any extra points for being gushy."

"Oh and how many points do you have? When again is this wedding happening?" Edith retaliated, for once stumping Mary.

"Indeed, when is it happening?" Richard raised an eyebrow at her. "Now we know Matthew's prospects could change again..."

"Let's not steal mama and papa's thunder," Mary muttered, sipping from her drink after a half-hearted raise of her glass. Robert took to his port, as did Carlisle.

"Sybil will be coming home in a month or two," Cora said absent-mindedly to a quiet room.

"Oh?" Edith asked. "What does she say to this news? Or does she not know yet?"

"I sent a letter and she replied with her and Tom's congratulations," she answered in mono-tone.

"You told me none of this," Robert said.

"Well I wouldn't have, would I?" Cora raised her eyes to meet his, making him look away with a frown.

"You're quiet, granny," Mary observed. "Aren't you pleased?"

"I'll be pleased when the child is born, not before..."

Mary gave a quizzical look but Violet didn't follow up on her statement.

* * *

The following day was one of the hottest of that Summer. Cora was sitting outside in the shade with her needlework when Carson came hurrying out looking particularly red-faced.

"Ah, there you are milady," he heaved a breath and hurried to conduct himself. "A telegram arrived not long ago... uh, it's addressed to you, milady."

"Thank you, Carson," she said mildly with a vacant smile, taking the small envelope from him, she opened it. Carson started away across the grass as she began to read.

**I must insist we speak soon. There are  
matters beyond you and I to speak of.  
EN.**

Cora turned the paper to pieces as Robert came stalking across the grass with a face like fury. She looked down at her embroidery with renewed concentration.

"Cora?" he called with a hint of annoyance as he approached. "Cora."

"What?"

"Why is Mary marrying him? I've just seen Carlisle blow his nose on a table cloth and Mary didn't so much as blink."

He approached the bench, waiting impatiently for her answer when he saw the torn up paper.

"What's this?" he asked.

"A telegram," she said. "I think it's about time you knew something," she was quick to chance topic, finishing a stitch and putting her work to the side, she sat back and looked up at him, considering him for the first time in months. Robert sat down at the other end of the bench.

"Go on."

"Kemual Pamuk. What do you remember?"

"The Turk who was found dead in his bed?" Robert frowned.

"Mm... Do you recall his interest in Mary on the night he died?" she picked up her work again, sparing him the odd glance to see if he was following.

"Mary killed him?" Robert asked, his face turning to shock.

Cora put down her needlework.

"No. She didn't kill him. Though granted his death was most certainly suspicious. His room was not the one he died in... the Turk died in Mary's bed chambers."

"_How?_"

"He had a heart attack while in her bed... which he did not force himself into."

"Surely not... No, she wouldn't have. How do you know?"

"She woke me up. I helped her carry him back to his own bed."

Robert stayed silent for a while, mulling the news over in his head and feeling slightly annoyed he'd been left out of it in the first place.

"I heard the rumors of course but I never knew you were involved aswell. Good God, why did you never tell me?" he asked.

"There was never a right time. And Mary was so disgraced with herself, I thought one parent's disapproving enough for her."

"I'd have given her far more than disapproving!"

"I know you would. But her guilt was enough, she didn't need more punishment."

"So where does Carlisle fit in?"

"Ah, well. Sir Richard knows Mary's secret and given his position, he'd know how best to release the scandal to the full effect of ruining her."

"She still shouldn't marry him based on that," Robert decided. "I'll have to speak to her."

"I agree," Cora replied, feeling the conversation coming to close.

"How's..." Robert started but stopped. Cora looked up at him, waiting to see if he'd go on. "How are you?"

She smiled despite herself. "As well as I can be," she pulled through another stitch. "How about you?"

"Me? About the same, I suppose."

"You know how sorry I am for-"

"Please don't apologise again," he stopped her.

"But if there's anything - anything at all that I can do that will help us, I'll do it," she tried not to beg him but the last few months had seen her getting more desperate for his support.

"I hardly think that if you don't know what will fix us, I will..." he replied quietly, staying a moment longer before getting up. "Mama would like to talk to you. She's here now."

Cora took a deep breath and nodded, preparing to get up. She took Robert's offered hand, feeling a warmth that had gone unfamiliar in recent months. He didn't look when her free hand went to her slight stomach. His hand left hers after lingering a little too long.

"Robert, I've-" starting but not knowing quite how to ask, she stopped. "I have to... Have to go to London again - for another check-up in a few weeks. For the sake of appearances I wondered if you might come with me? ...And I'd like you to be there."

"I can get someone to come visit Downton."

"They insisted I go to the practise, I know it's not ideal..."

"Well..." he frowned and looked anywhere but her eyes. "Alright, I'll go."

"Thank you."

"Well like you say - for appearances."

Robert started away across the grass, leaving for the colder surround of his study, he prepared to think on his situation once more, but this time he'd reach a personal conclusion.

* * *

Shortly after, Cora followed to go indoors, readying herself to brave the wrath of Violet again. They'd not spoken alone for weeks so Cora suspected topic of conversation would be last night's uneasy and unconvincing conduct of telling the family officially. Finding herself in the Saloon, Mr Carson again approached to show her ladyship back outside onto the tea patio where a pale-looking Dowager Countess sat looking more unimpressed than usual. Cora sat down and Carson left, no words yet exchanged, she tried not to fidget and set the conversation going.

"You wanted to see me?"

"I didn't particularly _want _to..." Violet muttered, squinting slightly at the lawn beyond the patio. Highly disliking the discomfort brought on with the heat of the Summer sun, her very low mood swung lower. "We're to talk of Mary."

"Oh?" Cora breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

"Carlisle is unsuitable. His few benefits do not make up for his faults."

"There are other reasons he's kept around... but otherwise I agree. Robert's going to talk to her."

"Ah, so you're talking. Some improvement I suppose."

"What else of Mary?"

"I don't know if you're aware but Matthew and Lavinia are unsteady. Especially now given he's well and able again. And of course the possibility his prospects could change - which is unlikely of course, given the child may not be male nor Robert's-"

"Have you decided what will happen if the baby is a boy and..." Cora interrupted her without much clear thought on whether she truly wanted the answer to her question. "...and evidently not Robert's?"

"You know very well what will happen. It won't be brought up as the Crawley heir. People will be told- society will be told, of a complication that ended in the tragic loss of the child. Meanwhile, we will find a suitable barren couple who needn't know it's true heritage."

"That simple..."

"Yes."

Cora cleared her throat and tried to keep holding herself in check.

"What else of Mary?" she asked again, trying to distract herself. Though Violet wanted nothing more to do with Cora than was necessary, she did admit the slightest sympathy for her. Giving away the child would be the more than likely result of the whole mishap. Even if the father was not who she wished, either way it was still going to be Cora's baby.

"If Carlisle goes, what's to say Mary won't fall back in love with Matthew?" Violet said, returning to the subject.

"I hardly think Matthew and Lavinia will split up over this. She never got engaged to him for his position."

"They are unsure of one another. Matthew is marrying her in thanks for her dedication to him while he was incompetent."

"Everyone has doubts sometimes, I'm sure they'll be fine."

"Pity you didn't doubt sooner," Violet said, being a fraction genuine.

"I did doubt... But I can't undo things now. My priority is making up for my mistakes."

"One would not have thought so... given the way you and Robert have been avoiding one another."

"What can I do until it's born?"

"There are things you can do, Cora, don't be so helpless."


	14. Ask Any Fool

14. Ask Any Fool

"Robert?" Cora called, moving at a pace through the door to his study. He was sitting, seemingly relaxed. "There you are."

"I was going to come find you-" he started.

"I've been thinking a lot. About what we're to do. I know what I have to do when it comes... and if it's what I have to do... It'll be hard but I'd try if-"

"Cora, what are you talking about?" he asked, getting up from his chair and moving past her to close the door.

"Mama told me what I have to do once the baby is here-"

"What will happen? I didn't realise there was any other option besides bringing it up as ours."

"A story will be invented while the baby goes away to live with a childless couple."

"I haven't agreed to that!"

"But..." she trailed off, feeling confused by his reaction. "It's not what you'd want?"

"Either way, you are the child's mother, it should live with you."

"Oh... I see." Now Robert looked like the confused one as he sat back down in his arm chair. "I'll write to my mother and have her expect us-"

"We're going to America?" he asked as though it were a deluded idea.

"The baby and I - isn't that what you were saying?"

"I don't want you to go. I meant stay here. Both of you, stay here."

"Robert, I can't make you do that-"

"It's too late. Either way, I will be this child's father. Blood or no blood, it will live in our house, on this estate and be our fourth child," he said with a new determination, he got to his feet again, about to go to her.

"I can't make you do that," she tried not to tremble with the hope of reuniting with him. Robert stayed where he was.

"You already have. That is the ultimatum you've given me. You, I, our life and this baby. You'd never be happy with me again if I let you give it away and we never knew for certain..."

Cora nodded, feeling her boost of confidence begin to dwindle as she calmed with Robert's words.

"I might have taken longer to see I couldn't live like that if I'd not almost lost you. I'm not thankful that the flu almost took you from me, but I am thankful I've seen reason sooner," his voice took a more serious tone. "I don't blame you anymore..."

She met his eyes with a look of surprise on her features. Robert came closer, taking her hands in his, he looked down and continued, his voice somber.

"He did this to you," Robert said slowly and she quickly understood. "If this thing hurts you - in any way - I will find and kill Evelyn Napier."

Her blood ran cold at the fierceness of his promise, the striking penetration of his blue eyes on hers. Cora knew it wasn't about his love for her - though perhaps it was partly. It was about possession, Evelyn had taken something of Robert's and in doing so, he'd left a mark. An insult, a claim on what was Robert's. And Lord Grantham did not like to share. And so previous to speaking with Cora, Robert had decided it was about time he reclaim his wife as fully as was possible...

* * *

Becoming partners again wasn't easy. They each agreed to a reluctant schedule in which Robert was permitted to her room for 3 out of 7 nights a week, so as to take things slowly as they reconciled.

During one day in early August, the sun had blotted out behind a few looming clouds, giving shade to the grounds. The opportunity for a leisurely walk lended it's self and so Cora and Robert set out together. Not intending to go far as the air was still thick and humid, they strolled together down the driveway.

"You start," Robert said, smiling as he watched her think. Able to forget everything in these rare, short lapses of friendliness with her.

"Questions."

"Children."

"Play."

"Game," Robert said.

"Cards."

"Towers."

She thought for a moment, "buildings."

"Gutters."

"Bricks."

"Downton."

"Home."

He smiled. "I hope so."

"Do you forfeit, Mr Crawley?"

"Absolutely not. House."

"Shed."

"Shed!?" He asked. Cora giggled and shrugged. He sighed and shook his head. "Wood."

"Trees."

"Swish."

"Move," she said after a while. Robert opened his mouth to say something and stopped. Coming to halt just underneath the shade of the trees, he turned to her.

"Have you... felt it yet?" he asked, mainly out of curiosity. And he often felt he didn't ask about it enough.

"I have..." she nodded slowly, not meeting his eyes.

"You didn't say."

"I didn't think you'd want to know... And I didn't want to push things."

"Tell me next time?" he asked, quietly hopeful. He was replaying the memory of Mary first kicking. Being the first-time father he was, he was very much anxious when Cora told him the baby was 'kicking'. His expression had clearly amused Cora because she'd been unable to stop laughing long enough for her to tell him it was normal. The doctor had been sent for immediately and on his arrival, Robert had plenty of embarrassment to face for his ignorance.

Cora saw the far-away look in his eyes and smiled.

"Robert?" she squeezed his arm. "Darling?"

He warped back into the present on feeling a fresh sadness at realising it had been far too long since she'd called him by anything endearing.

"Yes?" he cleared his throat.

"You seemed to be living somewhere else for a moment."

"Just remembering something... Is that Edith?"

Cora looked away across the grass as Edith scanned the grounds and found them, hurrying forwards and waving something in her hand. She reached them, panting heavily.

"Mama... I've got a letter."

"So I see. Is it that urgent?"

"I think so..." Edith said, the colour fading from her cheeks a little. "But I wish to tell you alone, mama. I don't think I'd like papa to know just yet..."

Robert rolled his eyes and tsked.

"Alright. I'll see you inside, Cora," he felt their daughter's eyes on him as he pressed a kiss to Cora's cheek.

"Alright," she watched him start walking towards the house with a slight quirk in her lips.

"Mama, my letter."

"Oh, yes... What is it?" Cora turned back to Edith, folding her arms and standing next to Edith as she unfolded the letter.

"I'd like to ask if we might have a gentleman to stay."

"The Captain has finally come back to you?"

"Well, no... Mr Napier has."

"What?"

"He writes he very much enjoyed his stay here and should like to personally deliver to me some news. He's quite insistent that he can't write it down or say it over the telephone."

"No."

"What? Why?"

"It's... it's indecent for a gentleman to impose himself." Cora had gone white, goosebumps rising over her back. "Do... Why do you want him to come here?" she asked, struggling to find the right response to Edith's request.

"Well, I quite like him, mama. And I want to hear this news. Besides, I'm not an idiot, I can see I've not exactly got a long line of suitors. Of course I did rather hope Captain Willows would have stayed in touch... but Mr Napier is very nice."

"Mm..." Cora murmured, she was starting to feel rather light-headed.

"Can I confirm the invite then, mama? I can't see why you should disapprove if he was good enough for Mary."

"I don't think it's entirely appropriate, Edith."

"Why ever not?"

"It's... it's better to keep him interested. Don't invite him straight away," she gave an uneasy smile but it was enough for Edith to think that she had her mother's approval.

"Well, alright," Edith grinned. "I'll write back in a few days," with that, she turned and made for the house.

"Alright..." Cora tried not to panic, finding the intensity of the warm weather suddenly making her cold sweat. She reached one hand out to a near tree to steady herself, her other hand going instinctively to her stomach, closing her eyes, she concentrated on taking deep long breaths. After calming slightly, she opened her eyes again, leaning against the tree. Dread swirled in her chest as she looked downward at her now-prominent baby bump.

* * *

_Mr Napier,_

_I must write to express that you would not be welcomed at Downton since Lord Grantham is aware of the events transpired a matter of months ago. Therefore I must insist you remain distant and refrain from writing to any one of my daughters or myself, though particularly I know you have communicated with Lady Edith. We do not wish to be privy to your 'news'. _

_Sincerely,_

_The Countess of Grantham_

_Dear Lady Grantham,_

_I don't wish to upset your family in any way. But I'm afraid I must remain insistent that I speak with Lady Edith on topic of Captain Willows. I wish our friendship had not been ruined with guilt on both our parts. You knew my mother, the late Lady Branksome and I should wish-_

Another two pages of Evelyn's letter remained but Cora didn't read his words. Now knowing she couldn't keep Evelyn at bay alone, she decided it was time to tell Robert. Whether they were ready to talk of him or not, she wasn't sure. But what she did know was that if Robert found out about Napier's perseverance before Cora told him, there'd be a fresh reason for blame to turn her way. She chose their London visit to bring it up with him, fully intending to carefully broach the subject before their return to Downton...

* * *

When he accompanied Cora South to London, Robert found the silence between them as they travelled not as uncompanionable as he'd imagined it might be. They were certainly getting along much better, even if it was more friendly than affectionate... When it came time to visit the practise, he was almost wishing their short stay had not been so short. He sat in the waiting room, reading one of the complimentary newspapers with a cup of tea the receptionist had organised for him. But as he was so caught up in his newspaper, he didn't realise quite how long he'd been sitting there. The last of his tea was cold and he'd almost gotten through the paper.

"Excuse me, do you know how long the appointment was for?" Robert asked the young woman behind the desk.

"'Fraid not, sir. I can ask if you'd like?"

"No, that's alright... Thank you."

He waited another ten minutes before Cora finally emerged. He smiled at her but she didn't look his way, she seemed to be struggling to hold together.

"Another appointment, madam?" the receptionist asked.

"No, there won't be. Thank you."

The girl looked saddened for Cora, Robert felt himself tense with worry. He stood up, abandoning his paper and offering her his arm as he put his hat back on. She took it.

"Cora?"

"When we get back to the house," she whispered, clutching his arm tightly as they left. The strength of her grip surprised him and she didn't relent on her hold until they were out of the motor and back inside the house where she broke down in tears almost instantly.

"What? What it is?" he asked in alarm. "What did they tell you?"

The footman hastened to disappear once he closed the door, allowing the two of them some privacy so talk.

"It's the baby isn't it?" he panicked. "Has it gone?"

She held her head in her hands.

"It's worse than that," her voice came out muffled and thick with her upset.

"Tell me it's not going to hurt you," he pleaded.

She took a long breath to steady herself before she wiped her eyes and looked up at him. "The doctor explained that since the flu epidemic, many women who fell victim to the illness whilst being with child have born... they've born..."

"Born what?"

"Robert, I might bear you an unhealthy child."

"Unhealthy? By what means?"

"I don't want to explain it in detail..." again she attempted to hold back her tears. "But the baby will most likely be sick if I was pregnant during the illness."

Robert was heartbroken. But quickly heartbreak turned to rage. Cora watched his face light with his fury as he opened his mouth to growl something abusive about Napier.

"Before you say anything, I've something else to tell you..." she interrupted. "_He_ wants to come Downton. And though I have expressly told him not to come, he is insistent. He's even contacted Edith to try and get to Downton through her. Robert, I've tried to deal with it, can we just hope he'll take the warning and stay away?"

"Absolutely not."


	15. Here's The Moral And The Story

_Hey everybody! Hope you've all had a Happy Easter and enjoyed the bank holiday and whatever. Anyway, I write with good news for some of you, bad news for others - the torment will soon be over as far as this story goes. Reckon my chapter count will reach about 17/18, so we've not long to go now! This has to be one of my favourite chapters, I've planned having this in here since the beginning - if anything the image in my head of these upcoming scenes is what provoked me to set up this scenario. A few of you have mentioned the possibility of this, I won't say any more, but I know a lot of you will like this. :D Enjoy, m'dears x  
_

_Disclaimer: I own nuthin', it's all the work of my main man, Jules. :P_

* * *

15. Here's The Moral And The Story

Since the careful construction of their reconciliation, Robert had taken great pains to ensure he kept his temper in check. It wasn't that he was superstitious of a crack-pot old wise woman had once said, he mainly wanted to handle things his own way. And when his anger took control, he had little power over himself at all. So when the latest implication to Cora's pregnancy revealed itself, he spent all his will-power simply trying to restrain himself from flipping his lid. But it was his silence that most worried Cora. By now she was accustomed to his temper, to see him struggle so forcibly with his rage was foreign.

As far as she knew, Robert had not yet chosen what he would do about Napier inviting himself to Downton. Robert had already begun formulating a series of unpleasant ideas on how to drive Napier into the ground but so far nothing seemed do-able without being traced back to him. (And Napier was certainly not worth prison time...) Only a few days after getting back from London, Sybil and Tom were due to arrive at the abbey on a Saturday afternoon.

Robert was out on the estate during the morning of that day, considering what in his life _was _going the way he wanted. But while he frustrated over his troubles and came up with all manner of methods of ruin for his heavily detested adversary, Cora was sitting indoors, half listening to Mary talk about what she wanted to do about Sir Richard.

"I might feel a bit guilty... we have been together a long time."

"Mary even you know you won't feel that guilty. You're worried about the scandal he'll cause."

"Papa suggests I might go to America..."

"Well it would help if you weren't around to see it in the papers. The gossip will die out quicker."

"Oh I don't know... Won't it be quite dull?"

"Mary, make your mind up. Deny it if you must but even I can see you're still in love with Matthew-" Mary opened her mouth to say something but didn't get the chance. "But darling I'm afraid your ship may have sailed. Matthew and Lavinia might be unsteady but they're engaged nonetheless. Wait til the wedding to believe it if you want to, but I think you'd be better off to start building a new life and save yourself the heartache."

"Where is all this coming from?" Mary asked, looking very stoney-faced. "I'm very happy for Matthew, I wouldn't want it any other way. I am dealing with the consequences of my actions. And anyway - we're right back where we were before the war. His prospects could be nothing if you have a boy. I'll have nothing and so will he."

"Except for Lavinia."

"Except... for Lavinia," Mary nodded slowly.

"Mama!" Edith came bursting in, much to Mary's clear annoyance. "Mr Napier was on the telephone," to Cora's surprise, Edith looked quite panicked.

"And?" Mary asked.

"Mama, he rang from the train station. He'll be here in a matter of minutes to give me his news."

Cora's mouth hung open, her daughters stared in surprise at the clear dread she displayed. She swallowed hard.

"This is very..." she tried to calm herself. "Unusual."

"Of course it's unusual. Did you invite him?" Mary asked, glancing from Cora back to Edith who quickly shook her head. "Then why is he coming here?"

"He wants to give me some information," Edith squeaked.

"Let's all keep calm," Cora said. "Mary, could you have someone go and find your father?"

"No. Get Edith to do it."

"Now just a minute, Edith is no lesser than you are so just mind your manners, young lady."

Mary tensed at her telling off but quickly regained her self-composure and uttered, "sodding pregnancy."

"What should we do, mama?" Edith asked.

"Well, I don't care. I'm out of here," Mary left the room, leaving Cora and Edith alone.

"Have Mr Carson know that when Mr Napier arrives, he is to be sent straight in here and there's no need to alert the kitchen."

"We won't host him?"

"No."

"Alright..." Edith said uncertainly, leaving to go and do as her mother had asked. Soon she returned, sitting near Cora in the chair Mary had vacated. "What do you think he'll say?"

"I have no idea..." Cora glanced at the clock, trying to work out what time Robert would be back.

The door opened and closed and around the corner came Carson, leading into the library the unwelcome intruder.

"Mr Napier, my lady," Carson announced. Evelyn walked in past the butler but quickly halted.

Lady Grantham was not looking at their guest, but Evelyn appeared to be wishing she was. Then things changed considerably as his eyes fell to her stomach.

"Will that be all, milady?" Carson articulated, not hiding his confusion over the way Evelyn stood and stared most impolitely at her ladyship's condition.

"Yes, Carson. Thank you."

"A pleasure to see you again, Mr Napier," Edith said with a smile, Cora still did not look at him. "Please have a seat."

"Er... thank you," he stiffly took to a chair, making a great effort to pull his stare from Cora.

"So, what is it you came to talk about?" Edith asked, starting the conversation. He frowned, looking at her as though slightly confused. Seeming to have remembered his purpose, he spoke.

"I came to deliver into your hands..." Evelyn took a cream envelope from his jacket. "This letter. From Captain Willows."

"How very kind..." Edith said, receiving the letter from him. "Could the Captain not have delivered it himself?"

"No, I'm afraid not... You see it's my... I've come to tell you that quite some months ago- In fact, not long after our visit here... Oliver succumbed to the terrible illness that so gravely affected the whole country... I'm afraid he was not quite so lucky... as Lady Grantham."

"Why did I never hear?" the upset clear on Edith's voice was enough to pull her mother's attention back.

"I have tried to contact you a few times... Particularly when it came time for the funeral."

"Why did I never get the letters?" Edith tried to contain her sobs, the tears were falling and there was no holding them back.

"I thought that first I might write to Lady Grantham..." Evelyn looked at Cora but she continued to pour focus on Edith. "To see if a meeting might be arranged... but I'm afraid that didn't happen and so now... here I am."

"I..." Edith's lower lip trembled, her hands now grasping the envelope branded with her name. "If you'll excuse me, I think I might have some time alone..."

"Of course," Cora said. "Can I do anything?"

"No, thank you mama... Maybe I might talk with you later..." Edith left the room, the door clicking shut behind her.

"You have said your piece, I think you ought to leave."

The sudden and sharp cut of the manner in which she ordered him, startled him. He was surprised to see her eyes on him, the brilliance of their icy colour the most effective and complimentary ally to her fiery expression. He swallowed hard, trying to find a reason to stay.

"I didn't want to hurt her," he said helplessly. He was looking far more the boy who broke a window to the man she'd taken as her lover.

"I know. But you shouldn't have come here."

He swallowed hard again, feeling the burn of her fixed eyes suddenly uncomfortable, he fidgeted nervously.

"I wanted to see you..."

"I, on the contrary, did not want to see you," she got up, supporting herself as she found her feet. His eyes were back on her bump instantly. Cora moved past him to the window, seeming not to have noticed. "Good day, Mr Napier."

"I just wanted to part on good terms," he said, rising to his feet also and standing some few paces from her.

"That can't happen now."

"And why can't it?" he demanded, she turned around. "I didn't go looking to do anything wrong - _you_ lead me to your room."

"Yes, I did. And in doing so I made one of the worst decisions I've ever made. Why can't you leave me to deal with my own guilt?" she shouted.

"He doesn't deserve you. You don't deserve the guilt. What we did-"

"-Was very wrong and very foolish of me. Now I'd like you to leave."

"Is it mine?" he asked. "Did you know when I saw you that time in London?"

"I..." she took a deep breath and ignored his question. "This child's father will be Lord Grantham-"

"Does he know it won't be his blood?"

"How dare you!"

"How dare I what? How dare I ask after the future of my first child? How dare I come here?" His voice softened. "...How dare I fall in love with you?"

"You're unbelievable. Get out."

"I'm being honest. I can't help it. God knows I've tried not to..." he trailed off, his eyes moving to hers again in a way that made her doubt that he was being untruthful. She realised his physical proximity and backed away.

"What do you want?" Cora asked helplessly, finally weary.

"Nothing... I don't expect anything, I won't ask you to leave him or your family or even love me back. But woman have pity... I love you."

"Please just leave," she whispered.

"You could walk away from all this if you wanted to," he said just as quietly, the closing distance between them alarming her. "People in these lives always think they have to stick with their decisions, but they don't. I'm not even saying leave with me... I'm saying you have the choice to... And I hope you see that."

His hands were on her, making her gasp. He took his chance and leant into her, his lips to hers, a kiss he needed and a love she didn't want. The guilt was insufferable, the temptation irresistable, Cora kissed him back. His mouth delicious to hers, giving her the affection she'd missed. But it wasn't right. She found herself and pushed him away.

"I knew you loved me too," he whispered. His touch became insistent on her cheek, her waist, her stomach. He met her lips again but she pulled away, again he tried to force his affection but she resisted. He grabbed her mouth with his once more, soon to have his cheek burn pink with the force of her hand to his face, making him back up. Cora breathed deeply, she looked away from Evelyn and her eyes lifted to see Robert standing in the doorway. He was staring at her, something about his expression making her highly nervous.

"Robert," she breathed.

Very slowly and purposefully, Robert's hand left the handle on the door, he adjusted the cufflinks on each of his sleeves and then walked forward. Napier, having now noticed Robert's presence, straightened to his full height and tried to keep the fear from his eyes. Grantham's eyes were as startling blue as his wife's (but less attractive to Evelyn, than Cora's...) and they made him feel very much like the dog with it's tail between it's legs.

"Outside please," Robert said without a hint of friendliness and very much detesting the word 'please'. Evelyn looked at Cora and Robert's jaw tightened. Walking past Robert, Evelyn went out of the door while he heard Cora whisper, "I'm sorry."

Robert simply looked at her, turned and left. Cora followed them out into the entrance hall, anxious for what Robert would do that could not be done indoors. She knew it wouldn't come to anything that could be gossiped about or used in a scandal, Robert wouldn't allow that. Evelyn had taken enough from Robert, the Earl wouldn't let him have his decent character and his family's good reputation. Or so Cora had thought...

They didn't even make it outdoors, in the foyer as Carson opened the door, Evelyn turned around to say something when Robert gave him an almighty shove backwards out of the room, knocking him off his feet.

"Robert!" Cora shouted. Robert smoothed his jacket and walked outside while Carson and Thomas watched on in shocked amazement. By the time Cora got outside, Evelyn had more or less recovered and was back on his feet.

"I don't want to fight," Evelyn said, brushing himself down and trying not to look too flustered.

"You should have thought about your wants before you laid your hands on her," Robert growled, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and twisting it up as he threatened him.

"Last chance Lord Grantham," Evelyn said, bolder now with Cora for audience.

"You don't give out the chances here. I do."

And with that, Robert released his hold, pulled back his arm and walloped Napier straight in the eye socket with a hard punch. Cora gasped, Carson was shell-shocked but quickly came to his senses as the fight ensued. Evelyn threw himself at Robert, barging straight into him and knocking him to the the floor, as they wrestled in the gravel, Cora screamed in horror.

They rolled over and over, dust flying into the air and loud crunching noises emitting with every successful hit. Robert stopped them rolling and held the younger man down, raising his fist and bringing it down with strength to hit home, setting blood to gush from Evelyn's nose. Robert's hands then went to Evelyn's throat.

"How dare you hurt her," Robert seethed.

"I... didn't..." Evelyn choked under the restrictive hold around his throat.

"I'll kill you for touching her, you unworthy bastard," he spat through clenched teeth. Evelyn struggled for breath, his hands grabbing at Robert's. But a sudden kick that misfooted the enraged Lord, set Evelyn back to attack. He got up, wiping his nose on his sleeve and spitting dust from his mouth. Robert got up again, quickly regaining his energy to go at him again. By now Mary, Carlisle, Matthew and Lavinia had congregated outdoors along with some passing footmen on being quickly informed by Carson.

"What makes you think_ you_ are worthy?" Evelyn jaunted. "If anybody hurt her it's you. You effeminate prick!"

Robert launched forward again, they grappled a moment, in a struggle of strength before Evelyn won and had Robert down in the dirt, firing punches.

"What the devil is going on?" Matthew asked. Carlisle looked highly amused by it, while Mary made sure Cora was alright.

"Mama?"

"Robert!" her voice was high and panicked.

Evelyn looked around on hearing her cry but taking the opportunity, Robert seized Napier by his scruff and sent him reeling across the floor with the impact of another punch to his gut. Though sweaty, worn and feeling his age, Robert's rage hadn't burnt out yet and he strode over to Evelyn.

"You can fight me til we're black and blue," Evelyn said, panting heavily, each word an effort. "But I know that baby is mine."

Robert had no limits anymore - to expectation or otherwise. He threw down his fist again, square on Evelyn's jaw until he rolled out of the way, leaving Robert to crunch his knuckles into the ground. As the horror continued, it wasn't clear who was winning in the bizarre ruckus. Cora couldn't take any more of it, she tried to go to them but Mary held her back insistently.

Then, at the end of the drive, a car revved away as it came to pull in, stopping short of the front doors to give way to the ensuing fisticuffs going on. Sybil and Tom quickly emerged from the vehicle, looking as shocked as everyone else. Tom looked at the spectators in disbelief.

"Anyone going to help me pull them apart?" he asked. Jolting into action, Matthew and Carlisle warily got involved, Tom and Matthew pulling Evelyn back as he went to throw another blow to Robert's jaw. Carlisle tried to manage the Earl alone, pulling him upright and barricading the direct route to where Napier was being restrained. Pulling away from Carlisle, Robert swallowed hard, taking a moment to try and regulate his breathing before moving back to his family while Napier shouted obscenities.

"Robert-" Cora started, her hands falling his chest.

"Sorry," he muttered. His hair was all stuck up and messy, his clothes ripped and scuffed in places, his tie half undone. Blood dripped from a cut on his cheek, a shadow already growing beneath his eye.

"Don't be sorry. Are you alright?" she asked as she smoothed back his hair, wincing for him as she inspected his wounds. He nodded, still breathing heavily.

Matthew and Tom physically dragged Evelyn to the now-vacant car and closed the doors on him. "I'll go with him to the station if you like," Tom offered.

"You've only just got here. I'll go. I can take one the servants to make sure he's no trouble," Matthew told him, he looked back to Mary who nodded. Thomas hurried over and climbed into the car with Matthew while Tom went to rejoin Sybil with everyone else.

"Are _you_ alright?" Robert asked. Her arms went around him and she pulled him close.

"Yes... but don't ever do that to me again," she pressed her lips hard to his grazed cheek. His arms went around her, one palm flat to the smooth flesh of her stomach, the natural cradle holding and protecting their child. A child which - innocently and without intention, had caused and would cause such pain to him and Cora. He sympathised with it. The little unborn soul which would likely carry such joy with it as well as heartbreak.

"Never."


	16. If You Don't Wanna Cry Like I Do

16. If You Don't Wanna Cry Like I Do

"Robert..." she whispered, looking up through her eyelashes at him. "Take me inside-"

Carson gave a loud grunt and cleared his throat, his customary signal meaning he wished to speak.

"Err, my Lord... Might I suggest I send for Mr Bates?"

"Yes... quite right Carson," Robert nodded, though unmoving from his wife's arms.

"Come see me after," she said quietly.

"Of course," he smiled, reluctantly he released his hold on her and turned around to see a wave of eyes quickly avert to the floor. But sudden movement in the car drew new attention.

"Hey!" Matthew shouted.

"Sir, I think we should- umph!"

There was a scuffle going on in the vehicle as it rocked from side to side with the motion of moving bodies within it. A moment of still silence and then Thomas fell backwards out of one of the passenger doors, looking most disgruntled. Matthew jumped out of the front seat and ran around to get into the back of the car but Napier was already free and fast hurling himself back towards Robert for round two.

Cora clung to Robert, holding him so forcefully it surprised him. Napier halted, his run becoming a slowed walk until he stopped completely and simply stared at her.

"How can you still want each other?" he asked incredulously, looking from Cora to Robert and back in disdain that narrowly hid his heartache.

"I love him," Cora said faultlessly. Next speaking almost soundlessly, her words formed on her lips but barely met his ears. "I could never love you."

"I think you better leave now," Robert said, his arms finding themselves around Cora again, making a protective stance against Napier.

"Are you going to make me, Lord Grantham?" Evelyn spat.

"Now look here," Matthew intercepted on coming back to stand beside Mary and Lavinia. "I don't know what your reasons are for coming here but you've insulted my family and I think that before we inform the police, you should leave."

"Police? At Downton milord?" Carson asked, turning to Robert.

"I think you should stick it, nancy boy," Evelyn growled at Matthew.

"Don't start picking a fight with me-" Matthew warned.

"Oh, we'd all love to see that one. Please do," Richard said smoothly, watching with a raised brow.

"Why are you even still here?" Matthew turned on Carlisle.

"Matthew!" Mary said startled.

"What? He's about as unwelcome as Mr Napier is. I'd happily wrestle him off the estate myself, given half the chance-"

"You're all talk," Richard pushed past everyone to stand before Matthew. "Here's your chance, dandy."

Matthew went quiet, everyone watched, horrified for what might ensue - again.

"Don't do it man, he's not worth it," Tom said.

"I agree with Branson, Matthew," Robert agreed, forgetting to correct Tom's name.

"Yes, let's listen to the great Lord Grantham and his scrubby chauffeur..." Richard drawled. "Argh!"

Evelyn, remembering his own target took the distraction of Matthew and Sir Richard's fight as a change to instigate another of his own. He pulled Robert away from Cora and whacked him straight in the jaw with his fist. Robert went backward, reeling in the dirt in shock.

Evelyn laughed, blood still on his teeth as he grinned widely at Robert. A few feet away, Carlisle and Matthew were being yanked apart by Tom - whom it seemed, had no reservations about firing a few of his own punches in order to separate them. Carlisle got up and smoothed back his hair, walking straight for Mary.

"Tell it to me straight," he panted heavily, glaring at her intensely. "Are you still in love with that fool of a man?"

Mary flummoxed at the question, frowning and shaking her head despairingly, without answer.

"Get off him!"

Everyone's attention quickly drew back to the original fight: Evelyn was beginning to start on Robert now he was down again and this time there was nobody to restrain Cora from doing something quite unexpected and unladylike...

Before anyone could register how the outcome had come to be, and just how Napier - accidentally or not - had misguidedly released his fist on the wrong person, it was over. It happened in a matter of seconds, one moment Robert down, Napier attacking, Cora stood. But then stance changed. Robert attacking, Napier stood... Cora down.

Napier was practically unresponsive to Robert's posing threat as he stalked forward to unleash into combat again. He hadn't seen Cora yet.

"Mama!" Sybil was the first to move or say anything, she hurried over to her mother and got to her knees. Robert stood stock still, fist raised, his eyes moved to the ground beyond Napier where Cora was gasping, muttering, her hand pressed to her stomach as she sharply drew another breath.

"Cora," he breathed, shoving Napier out of the way and running over to her.

"Robert..."

"I'm here, darling, I'm here."

"The baby..."

"I swear I didn't mean to hit her, I-I thought-" Evelyn stammered.

"Get out of my sight before I strangle you," Robert roared. "Do not contact my family again."

"But... the baby?" Evelyn faltered.

* * *

"Is fine," the doctor confirmed as Robert enquired some time after Cora had been examined. "Lady Grantham just needs to take extra care and bed-rest from now until labour - there are other complications with this pregnancy as I'm sure you understand..."

"Yes... thank you," Robert nodded, sighing with relief as he went to knock on the bedroom door.

"And Lord Grantham?"

"Yes?" Robert turned.

"I'll drop off an antiseptic later... for your _hunting_ ailments," the doctor gave a slightly suspicious tone on the excuse Robert had given.

"Err, yes... thank you doctor."

The doctor nodded and swiftly took leave. Robert knocked on the door and listened.

"Come in," she called. He went in and closed the door, returning her smile as he entered into the room. The drapes were drawn, only one lamp flickering away to provide a ghostly light at her bedside. She was half-sitting, seemingly tired but relaxed, her hands folded over her bump.

"May I?" he asked, she nodded her assent. Though fully dressed, Robert climbed across the bed on his side and settled on top of the covers, he put his arm around her and she adjusted to cuddle into him.

"Are you alright?" he whispered, stroking her hair lovingly.

"Mm... are you?" she moved back, turning her worries to his injuries while he rolled his eyes.

"I'm fine... Bates has sorted me out."

"...What did you to do to him?" she asked. Robert opened his mouth to say something but couldn't quite restrain himself a grin. "Robert!" she admonished, giving him a playful swat on his arm.

"Well you don't need to know all the details... but I came off better - clearly," he chuckled, seemingly reliving the moments leading up to Napier's departure.

She sighed and moved her head back to his shoulder.

"You worried me," she said.

"And you did me! What were you doing going at him?"

"Like I said, I was worried about you."

"I could handle him," Robert said casually.

"Mm, it really looked that way from where I was."

Robert 'hmm'ed his indifference. "Anyway, it's all done. We can relax now," he said.

"Not entirely. What'll we tell people in explanation?"

"Mama is already onto that. Nobody close to us is any the wiser... unless Napier starts to spread things but we can take care of that. Sir Richard left this afternoon too."

"Oh good... alright," she yawned and relaxed against him, releasing a sigh of contentment as she closed her eyes. Robert smiled, wetting his lower lip he attempted to lean in at angle so that he could reach her lips but found himself unsuccessful. He frowned, finding no manoeuver helpful. A little agitated that she seemed unbothered by his fidgeting, he settled for annoying her back. He blew softly against her hair but got no reaction. Blowing harder against her cheek she let out a little moan of frustration and opened her eyes.

"What?" she asked lazily.

"Can you move?"

"Why?"

"I can't kiss you from here," he complained. She had to admit herself a smile at this. Reluctantly she moved from her comfortable embrace against his chest and settled down against the pillow, one arm behind her head, she looked up at him expectantly. He flushed a gentle pink and changed position aswell, lieing down on his side next to her and taking her hand in his. Feeling the flutter of butterflies creeping in on her, Cora tried to keep her nervousness contained. Every kiss since falling back in love felt a first, the sensation was superlative.

He leant in and found her. Her eyes fluttered closed and she waited all of a second before she received the warm and tender touch of his lips. Her mouth parted to accept him, her eyebrows raised in gentle surprise as the feeling of flying butterflies moved up through her chest to her throat, causing her to release a slight but welcomed moan. Robert smiled against her mouth, revelling in the dampness of her tongue as it met with his, sparking her taste in his mouth. One of his hands went to her head of curls, softly fisting them appreciatively as he took her lips again.

"Robert," she breathed, her chest heaving slightly as he moved his affections to the nape of her neck. She smiled, indulging in his attention and the warm feeling filling her up that accompanied it. "Robert," she whispered again.

"Yes, my love?" he stopped sucking at her throat and stayed still, waiting for her to speak.

"Baby's kicking," she laughed lightly in relief. It sounded beautiful to his ears.

"Where?" he lowered himself a little further, his hand moving across her bump. She put her palm to the back of his hand and guided his touch to where she'd last felt it. Moments later the baby moved again. A broad smile spread across Robert's face, he reached up and kissed her again, settling down with his head on her chest, one of his hands to both of hers. There they stayed the rest of that night, comfortably, securely and perfectly together. Until day broke and with it came the flying hoards of morning post...


	17. Here's My Story

17. Here's My Story

**TROLLOPING HABITS OF LUDICROUS LADY MARY**

_Eldest daughter of one, the Right Honourable Earl of Grantham starred as leading lady in rumors that sparked long before the first World War. But today, _The Daily Herald_ reveals each one of these bizarre stories to be shockingly true. Lady Mary Crawley, cold exterior and poignant stare to her placid face, is a somewhat attractive woman but holds little to her personality beyond a stoney and vain exterior. Behind closed doors, this daughter of an egotistical and self-absorbed aristocrat, took as her paramour the once live and healthy Kemal Pemuk, a Turkish diplomat who visited Lady Mary's family house in the late Spring of 1912..._

**TWO 'HONOURABLES' IN BRAWL  
**

_Yesterday afternoon, The Right Honourable, the Earl of Grantham took the son of Viscount Branksome, The Honourable Evelyn Napier for his opponent in a one-on-one brawl at his estate - Downton Abbey, North Yorkshire. _The Daily Herald_ reports on this unlikely battle between the Earl and his social inferior, Mr Napier. Claims stand that Napier arrived on the estate under the invitation of Grantham's second daughter, Lady Edith Crawley for reasons unknown. Lord Grantham, having not approved the arrival of Mr Napier, threw out in an all scale tantrum which ended up in fisticuffs as Napier attempted to defend himself. Reports also stand that the Earl's pregnant wife, the The Right Honourable, the Countess of Grantham also got unnecessarily involved, trying to protect Lord Grantham in a fight that he himself had picked. Lord Grantham continued to violently assault Mr Napier to the point that he had to flee to his vehicle and leave the estate..._

"Carson, dispose of this morning's Herald will you?" Robert passed the paper over his shoulder, choosing to ignore both his morning paper and his stack of unopened post as he began on his breakfast.

"How is mama this morning?" Sybil asked, setting aside another letter as she reached for another on her own pile.

"She's well. Very tired but she's alright," Robert assured.

Silence ensued again over the morning meal. Only the clattering of cutlery and the tearing of knives on envelopes could be heard. Robert looked up from his eggs and observed his family around him. They all looked incredibly tense and uncomfortable... much as his staff had behaved on delivering his morning newspaper and holding open the door for him... He cleared his throat.

"I think that I ought to apologise for yesterday if any of you is to act normally today," he said simply.

"Oh papa, you don't have to do that," Sybil said, looking around at the others for support.

"I think he does... That is if anyone's to retain any respect for us, I think the staff should hear too," Mary said, stabbing at some toast with a little too much enthusiasm.

"My reasons were utterly justified, I will not answer to you, Mary. Especially given your own mistake has made front headline-"

"Surely you understand though. You can order everyone to act normally but it'll never be that way again unless you explain what went on yesterday. Everyone needs to be on level-pegging as far as understaing Napier's involvement goes. And that includes the staff."

Nobody responded to Mary. Robert merely stared at her.

"Have you read this morning's paper?" he asked finally.

"I have," she said. "The article its self lightened my spirits considerably. It's utterly hysterical," she said without notion of amusement.

"I'm glad you find it amusing." Robert said flatly. "Particularly given that you well know that article will expand in variety and appear in every other paper by tomorrow morning." Mary gave no answer, nor did anyone else. The uncomfortable quiet resumed. Robert had had enough. "Right. This afternoon I would like all of you here with Isobel, Matthew, Lavinia and the Dowager in the library at 4 o'clock... Carson, yourself and Mrs Hughes are invited also, you can afterwards explain to the necessary downstairs staff what I have to say."

* * *

"Oh hello Matthew... we weren't expecting you until 4," Mary smiled for the first time all day.

"No, I thought I'd come up early. Lavinia and mother are coming later. I wondered if I might have a word about this morning's paper."

"Well... yes, if you must. Come into the library."

They walked past Robert on his way out of the room.

"Good afternoon, Matthew. You're a bit early," Robert said, pausing for a moment.

"I just came to have a word with Mary..."

Robert nodded, smiled and left the room for upstairs. Leaving Mary and Matthew to talk, he went straight through the corridors, up the stairs two at a time and along the landing until he stopped outside Cora's bedroom. Leaning into the doorway, he tapped his knuckles lightly on the wood and listened. He heard a muffled 'come in' and turned the handle, opening the door just enough and slipping inside, closing the door behind him.

"Hello you," he could hear the smile on her voice though he couldn't see her face.

"Hello," he said, walking over to the bed and sitting down beside her, she was curled up with her eyes closed. "How are you feeling?"

"Terrible... but better now you're here," she didn't open her eyes but reached out for his hand.

"Me too... I'm repeating mama's scripted apology this afternoon."

"What? Why?" she opened her eyes and he wished he'd not said anything for the worry was clear on her face.

"The post and the newspapers this morning were worse than we could have imagined... It seems everyone known to us, well known or not, wants to know if the stories are true. I don't know about Napier but Carlisle has authored his own version. It's time for ours."

"Want to run me through it?"

"It's carefully constructed - by mama - not to implement you. The papers didn't pick up on everything but that could change if Napier doesn't agree to our terms and sets off the real scandal. There's not much to be done about Carlisle, he's already let rip..."

"What are the terms?" Cora asked, stifling a yawn.

"I don't want to trouble you with it. It probably won't come to it."

"I'd like to know."

"...Well, we've offered him something in reward if he stays quiet. If he isn't quiet then we retaliate with a scandal of our own that will ensure he's shunned by society... Mama has some favours owing to her with a few nobles in London and I have a few old contacts in newspaper firms."

"Do you think that'll be enough to over-ride Sir Richard?"

"No, but it'll be enough to over-ride Napier with a different scandal if he chooses to release the truth about... you know."

"What will you tell people?"

"We don't need to come up with anything yet unless Napier reveals what it was all about and we need to deny it. We'll just say an argument sparked for now. I can worry about a story later..."

"And what is the reward you spoke of?" she'd closed her eyes again but she could tell he thought he'd wormed his way out of telling her.

"Well... err, we err... We... Err."

"Robert?"

"...Yes?" he said weakly.

"Stop saying 'err' and just tell me."

"Well, I spoke to mama and she agreed there's no way around it, it's all we have to offer him that we know he'll likely take... It's a combination of money and... we said that when the baby's born he can see it once," he said quickly, hoping she'd not heard him correctly for he hated the idea as much as he knew she would.

"You did _what_?"

* * *

_A/N: I hope the articles at the start of this chapter were ok, obviously they're written for Carlisle's paper and he's an angry dude after what went on so I hope I got that across. I know he loved Mary but he's only human. Human's get angry. Sorry it's taken a while to get these last few chapters up, the next one will be the last one! :O _  
_Oh and I hope it was clear the way the Crawleys are trying to deal with the Robert v Napier scandal. Not much to be done for Mary's sadly... But we'll see.  
_

_I promise the last chapter'll be a good 'un though. I'm super excited to write it and get it out there for you to read so hopefully it shan't be too long. Also, I know some of my chapter titles are a little bit rubbish and ill-fitting but I'll explain that in my final author's note next chapter. Anyway, if you have the time I'd love a review, they're just little sprinkles of awesome. See you all next chapter I hope! x_


	18. What If The Storm Ends?

18. What If The Storm Ends?  


_2 and a half months later  
Early November 1919_

_The wind was battering the windows, throwing force behind the plummeting rain as it soaked every inch of open land and surface. Thunder rolled in the dales and hollows of the moor. Visibility was poor but every other sense was high. The air was getting a thorough clean in preparation for days of calm to follow. Calm... and grief. His eyes were deceiving him, he was not seeing what he was seeing, it was not possible, it was not meant to work out this way. It was all wrong... all so very wrong. Everything was still - too still to be natural. There was no sound but his own breath, his own heart beat and the ravaging weather going on outside the bedroom.  
_

_"No!" He heard a voice, a distant cry that sounded like a whisper in the back of his head. "NO!" It came again, a little louder and raspier and desperate. His face suddenly felt wet and the peculiar thought came to his mind that the ceiling might have receded back to the walls and allowed the rain to fall upon him.  
_

_"NO! NO! NO!" A man's voice. Definitely a man's voice, but whose? His throat felt dry, his eyes were still stuck to her bed, fixed with horror. "NO!"_

_"Robert!"_

_"No," he sobbed, rolling over and gasping for breath. "No Cora, no... oh no..."_

_"Darling? Robert you're dreaming. Wake up... come on."_

_He took a shuddering breath and bolted up-right, it wasn't just his face that was wet but his whole body. Tears and sweat, mingling over him in a warm and sticky film. _

_"Cora?" he croaked, he squinted in the darkness of their room. He found her silhouette, and groped for her, pulling her tightly to him._

_"Robert!" she gasped. "Robert, calm down. Let me go, you're squishing me."_

_"...Sorry." He suddenly felt entirely embarrassed of himself. Letting go of her he pulled back the covers. _

_"Where are you going?"_

_"Need some air."_

_"Are you alright?"_

_"Mm..."_

_"...You were shouting quite a while this time."_

_"Maybe I ought to start sleeping in my dressing room so as not to wake you."_

_"I'm awake anyway most of the time... Besides there'd be nobody there to wake you up."_

_"Mm... I'm going to splash water on my face..."_

The nightmares replayed on the true evening of the event. It was not long before the dressing gong when it had all been announced 'under way'. But the wait had gone well on into the evening. The Dowager was even starting to stifle yawns.

"I can't stand this," Robert announced, putting down his glass. "I need to know what's going on."

"I can go and ask after her if you'd like," Mary offered.

Robert opened his mouth but no words came up through his constricted throat as he swallowed the lump stuck there once again. He nodded.

"Please," he managed. Mary got up and went to the drawing room door. Silence dawned again as she opened it, but the quiet quickly filled with a gutteral cry that ripped through the cavernous entrance hall and echoed throughout, carrying into the drawing room. Robert's eyes widened, Matthew and Tom exchanged nervous looks and Violet appeared unusually melancholy. The sounds of Cora's distress quietened but remained audible. Mary looked to Robert, having paused in the doorway, Robert pulled at his tie, drew a few breaths to steady himself (and his drink-induced mind) and nodded, signalling for her to go.

"Robert..." Violet said carefully. He had returned to pacing and drinking and pacing again. "Robert, dear."

"Hm?"

"Sit down, will you?"

"I can't."

"You can, come on now."

Reluctantly he did as he'd been told, stiffly taking to the sofa next to his mother.

"I might just-"

"Stay where you are," Violet instructed, reaching for his forearm to make him stay sitting. "Now listen to me... you need to prepare yourself for the worst. There are too many things that could go wrong this evening. In fact if everything works out in your favour it'll be little short of a miracle. So be strong for your family, my dear. For whatever will come to be."

_10 days ago..._

_"Doctor Ryder, welcome."_

_"Thank you Lord Grantham, it's certainly a pleasure to be here." The doctor was a thin and tall gentleman, dark hair with grey flecks, green eyes and slight wrinkles to his face. He wore a stern and unamused expression when not smiling, but gladly for the Crawleys that afternoon he was grinning politely as he met them. Prestigious enough for Robert and modest enough for Cora, he seemed happily welcomed by everyone. Everyone but Violet..._

_"We're glad you could come. Let me introduce you... This is Lady Grantham, the Dowager Countess... Doctor Ryder of J and P London Practise, mama."_

_"How d'you do, Lady Grantham?" the doctor smiled kindly, producing his hand to take hers in greeting._

_"Better by next week I hope," she said simply with an expectant look on her face. _

_The doctor released her hand, his smile somewhat more fixed but nevertheless polite as he failed to respond. He followed Robert down the line of ladies and gentlemen. _

_"This is Lady Mary... Lady Edith... and Lady Sybil. And Mr Crawley and Mr Branson... And for obvious reasons, Lady Grantham is not present."_

_"Of course, I'd expect no less than good bed rest," the doctor agreed. There was a moment's quiet before Violet interrupted the silence._

_"Tell me doctor, what do J and P stand for?" _

_"Jacobs and Peterville."_

_"And why is your name not in the title?" _

Robert nodded, he'd partly processed the words his mother had spoken but the drink he'd earlier consumed fogged his clarity of the situation. He opted for a glass of water to begin the sobering process. But just minutes after he'd drained his glass, Mary burst back in with the widest grin he'd seen her wear since she was but a young girl. Everyone but Violet stood.

"They're fine. They're both fine!" she said, relaxing as the tension broke in two.

"That's terrific," Matthew grinned. Robert had begun to shake with relief and excitement.

"She's... They're both alright? Can I go...?" Robert asked, Mary nodded and watched as he practically skipped out of the room and off up the stairs to Cora's bedroom. He could no longer feel the devil on his back, his chest full with happiness but lighter than it had been in weeks...

As he approached, infant cries became louder, he could hear people talking, the doctors, the nurses, Sybil, Edith... wide grin on his face, he lifted his fist to knock on the door but stopped.

"Mama, are you alright?" Sybil's voice.

"Lady Grantham? ...Check her pulse."

"Is the baby alright?"

"Mama?"

"Get some fresh water... Hurry."

"What do you think it is? Postpartum hemorrhage?"

"Possibly but I think we've got a different problem to worry about now..."

_7 days ago..._

_Robert paused in the hall on his way from seeing Cora in the early afternoon of that day. The clouds were gathering, growing dark and heavy over the house and half the country. With the promise of a thunder-storm looming nearer, he seldom left the house to walk Isis or even tend to his duties about the estate. He took to work in his study with frequent breaks to go and annoy Cora with long minutes watching her rest...On that day, however, he had a meeting to attend. One which he was unsure what to expect from... Doctor Ryder had managed to collaborate with Doctor Clarkson and it seemed both medical professionals thought a discussion was in order. Grudgingly, Robert went down the hall and found Carson, informing him that he could now go and retrieve the doctors so this talk could form in her Ladyship's bedroom. Going back to Cora's room he plonked himself in the chair nearest her side of the bed. _

_"What's the matter dear?" she asked, her eyes fluttering open._

_"I don't like talking to medical people."_

_"You like Doctor Ryder."_

_"He's alright..."_

_"Then what's the problem?" Cora asked, tiredly rubbing her eyes as she looked across at him. Robert emitted an unhappy grunt. "Oh cheer up, you aren't the one that's triple your usual size and aching everywhere possible."_

_"But you look b-"_

_"I don't care what I look like, I don't have self-confidence issues. I just wish this baby would hurry up-!"_

_A knock on the door interrupted her slightly riled vent at Robert. Cora sighed and sat back on her pillows. _

_"Come in," Robert called, sitting back and placing his hands on each arm of his chair, getting up in order to greet the visitors. He decided to distract himself with listening to the doctors rather than hurt on Cora's words._

_"Well, I think perhaps we ought to discuss a few matters. With the, err... fractionally higher risk nature of Lady Grantham's pregnancy, Doctor Clarkson and I have agreed we ought to explain a few things so that when labour ensues everyone can be prepared." Doctor Ryder spoke calmly and directly to both Robert and Cora._

_"Prepared for what?" Robert asked._

_"As I said recently, milord, we've listened a few times for the child's heartbeat-"_

_"Yes and you weren't entirely clear on what you found out."_

_"Well, I'm not- we're not entirely sure... but it sounds like the baby has an irregular heartbeat..."_

It was like the audio to one of his worst nightmares. After mere minutes of flying at high euphoria, he could tell he was about to begin plummeting, straight down into the realms of despair as he realised something most certainly did not sound all right. The baby was still crying but at quieter volumes. He could hear Cora's heart wrenching sobs as such he'd not heard before. But before he could register anything else, the door had opened and Edith and a nurse had come out with the baby. Edith looked to be holding on a brave face.

"What's happening?" he asked.

"They've not told me," Edith whispered, she looked down at the bundle in her arms and then up at Robert. "Do you want to hold him?"

"Him? ...It's a boy?" Robert faltered, Edith nodded.

"I've got to go and help," the nurse said. "If you sit somewhere quiet and just rock him he'll be fine. I won't be long and I'll check in on you."

"Of course," Edith said as the nurse turned and went back into the bedroom, Robert caught a moment's glance of the bed, it was all clotted with bloody towels. "Papa do you want to hold him?"

Robert couldn't look down at the child.

"I can't... not until I know Cora's alright."

"Papa..." there were tears in Edith's eyes now. "He needs you. As much as we all will... and always have."

Robert struggled, not able to trust himself for what he might do if he looked down and found his son unrecognisable as his own. His jaw tightened, his eyes steely with painful anger, he looked down and almost immediately... he softened.

He saw a baby with soft downy black hair, a scrunched up little face and a small button nose. He saw balled up fists and a strong frown, a pink little tongue and an open mouth. He saw a squirming child, anxious for his mother's safe and cradling arms and unconditional, immediate love. Robert saw the miracle of a life brought into his house, his home. And instantly he found a place in his heart, just for this little boy...

_"I don't see why you're telling me this now! Telling us this today of all times!"_

_"Robert, calm down..."_

_"Why leave it til the very last minute to tell us the dangers involved?" Robert thundered, glaring between Ryder and Clarkson, waiting impatiently for an answer._

_"Lord Grantham, we agreed you ought to be aware - yourself and Lady Grantham - that things go wrong... We have procedures and methods, of course we do, but not everything works. Given this child could well be affected by the three wave influenza, we have more concern to add. We only thought it fair that we explain the number of medical staff we'll have when labour ensues-"_

_"Robert, sit down," Cora told him, tiredly. Listening to her, he dejectedly sat back down and reached for her hand. "Can you go through everything again please?" she asked quietly.  
_

_"Of course," Doctor Clarkson nodded. "Likely cases we could encounter involve malpresentation, placenta praevia, postpartum heamorrhage-" Clarkson clocked the annoyed look on Robert's faced and attempted to simplify. "In any usual birth there are risks... but given Lady Grantham's age, health and past illness, it is likely we will have to prepare for extreme complications that we cannot always bring life through. In any case... unfortunately mortality is a likely factor."_

_"Mortality for who?" Robert asked, anger fading from him and concern setting in once more._

_"We can't yet say..."_

_"Cora will come out of this," he looked directly at Clarkson. The doctors exchanged a glance._

_"We hope so."_

Wiping away the tears staining his cheeks, Robert looked up at Edith with renewed determination to be strong.

"I have to be with her."

"I know you want to papa but I don't think they'll let us back in there. She'll be alright, we need to believe in that."

Cora had begun to cry again, moaning in such clear pain and all Robert wanted to do was to take it away, feel it for her if it meant she'd be spared. Edith felt a surge of sympathy for Robert, he'd never looked so lost.

"Let's go sit in my room. It's not too far, we can keep the door open in case the have to come find us."

Robert nodded and Edith began down the hallway, checking over her shoulder to make sure he was following. When they got there, Edith sat down on her bed still rocking the quietened infant in her arms.

"Why don't you hold him?" Edith suggested. "He's calmed down now."

"I'm not sure..." Robert sat down next to her, chancing a look over Edith's shoulder at the infant in her hold.

"What's to be unsure about?" she asked gently, slowly moving to offer the baby into Robert's arms.

"I'm not..." but before he'd been given the chance to refuse, Robert was holding the baby. "He's so small..." he said quietly.

"He is little isn't he? Healthy though... He made a right racket at first..." There was a moment of quiet before Edith spoke again. "I never heard you talk about names..."

"Oh... Your mama wanted to decide if it was a girl and I would if it were a boy..."

"And what do you think you'll choose?" Edith prompted gently, offering her finger for the baby to clutch.

"I don't... I couldn't choose. I want for your mama to pick... Though she'll probably name him after her brother or her father," he smiled, trying to catch his own tears as he laughed once. "Harold or Isidore Crawley..." he sniffed, smiling again as a droplet dripped off his nose.

"Mama will be alright..."

"Thank you," he said. "But you don't know that... not for sure..."

The baby yawned and waved his arms, reaching for contact, his eyes opening on the world for the first time in the brilliant blue colour of a newborn.

_"How can you sit there so calmly!?" he asked, incredulously. "Or do you not understand what we've just been told? Do you not care?"_

_"Sit down," she repeated. Doctor Ryder and Doctor Clarkson had since left the room and the afternoon was wearing on. The rain had started again without catching anyone's notice, falling in fine sheets out of a blank grey sky. _

_"Stop telling me to sit down!" he roared. Seeing her face, his guilt was immediate and he did as he'd been told. "I'm sorry," he said instantly._

_"It's alright..."_

_"No, it's not."_

_"It is... I know you get angry when you're scared."_

_"What?" he asked, surprised.  
_

_"I need to tell you something. And I don't want you to say anything until I'm finished talking, right?"_

_"Yes..."_

_"I have had everything I've ever wanted out of this life- no, don't interrupt, I'm not saying my goodbye's, just listen. I want you to hear me and understand what I'm saying... I've made mistakes, Robert, I'm human as are you. I wondered for a long time what my life would be like back home in America, many days I even hoped I'd not let my life go this way. But I know now, sitting here with no idea what will come of the future..." she was fighting valiantly with her tears but loosing... "I always hoped I'd grow old beside the man I loved and I've near-done it. I've seen our children grow and learn and gain their independence. I don't need anything more than that. So I want you to know that if my time has come first... I'll be happy to go with the life you have given me." _

_"I thought you weren't saying your goodbyes," he said weakly, clinging to the last of his courage. _

_"I'm not... But if this baby brings life, it will need so much love to surround it. Whether I'm here or not to provide it-"_

_"Stop talking this way," he near-begged. "I can't see you go. Not yet. Don't leave me alone."_

_"You will not ever be alone..."_

"Lord Grantham?"

"Yes?" Robert stood up quickly. "What's happened? Is Cora- is Lady Grantham alright?"

"Well... would you like to come with me?" Doctor Ryder asked, Robert got the sense the doctor was restraining himself from saying something and it made him feel all the more suspicious.

"Of course..."

"I think we ought to bring young Lord Downton," the doctor suggested. Robert frowned but agreed anyway, turning to take the still unnamed baby from Edith who had stayed quietly with him, leaving him undisturbed while he worried and fretted and paced.

"I can carry him if you like papa," Edith offered.

Robert nodded, "if you wouldn't mind."

Robert began to follow the doctor down the hall, finding his heart beginning to hammer loudly in his chest as he neared the bedroom. He paused just before the doorway, about to turn and move into the room, his breath hitched in his throat as he prepared himself for a vision that would likely not leave his eyes in a very long time...

There were times in his life, times a little too rare and infrequent, when Robert would wonder how she'd become impossibly more beautiful than the last time he'd seen her. These were times when his heart did a little leap of love as he'd remember his luck in finding her at all in the cruel and cold world he'd been in before she came along and he had realised her. Her in her sensitive power to make all things gentler, set his mind to ease, cast away the worries that stayed like a rotten plague over his thoughts.

Words were strong to Robert. If he couldn't put into words for Cora the intense and achingly passionate way he loved her and how faultlessly and greatly he loved her in the moment he entered that room then... then he felt he wasn't worthy of the sight before him. He vowed to try.

She was sitting up-right, her hair loosely tied back and a little damp with sweat. Her face had been mopped dry, her lips curved upwards before her adoring gaze moved upwards and fell on Robert. Her face broke into a smile that made his chest swell with emotion. Her eyes moved downward again and he followed her line of sight. As he came into the room, moving around the bed-post, he saw clearly what she was looking at.

"What?" Robert had gone from dazed to down-right confused in the breadth of a second. "Who...? How?"

Cora looked at him again, this time seeming a little amused by him.

"Robert darling," she smiled. "It would seem a little detail went unrealised..."

"Sorry?" he looked quite startled, making Cora giggle, she was positively glowing. Robert came closer and found himself stunned. In her arms, swaddled lightly in a blanket was a squirming and burbling, pink-faced little baby.

"Twins, Robert... Two boys."

"Wh- Twins?"

"You are pleased?"

"Wha-? Yes, of course! ... Good God... I'm just... How'd...?" He trailed off, feeling confusion and surprise slowly ebb away his worry. His heart still thumping at top speed, relief coursed throughout him. "If you knew how much I love you right now," Robert said suddenly, Cora looked a little taken aback at this. "More than anything. Beyond even, mother of my children, Countess of this estate, my darling wife, Cora you..." his tears were returning again. "Cora, I..."

"Oh darling, come here," she smiled. Robert came over to the bed and sat down beside her.

"It doesn't sound right to just say 'I love you', it feels like the easy way to tell you what I... what I feel. But right now I'm so incompetent of words it's all I can say. I love you."

"I know..." she said softly. "And I love-"

"I can say it more times to give you a better idea of how much?"

"Oh Robert, you don't have to-"

"I love you... I love you, I love you... I bl-bloody well love you!"

Cora started to giggle. Robert was grinning too, he leant forwards and kissed her cheek, her nose, her eyelids, her forehead.

"Robert!" she laughed, blushing lightly.

"Yes?" he moved back, raising an eyebrow.

"You'll wake up the little one," she whispered, looking down again. He looked down too... "Where's our other boy?" she asked.

"Edith's got him, I think. They're incredible, I'd nearly forgotten-" A knock on the door interrupted them and Clarkson poked his head in.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," he said, coming into the room. "We're just doing a few check ups and assessing the children to make sure they're healthy, do you mind if we take the younger of the two aswell?"

Cora was reluctant to let go of her child but Clarkson was soon back in the room, running check-ups on her too. Robert stayed, feeling far to elated to feel awkward while the doctor did regular things like check temperature and mumble and scribble things down on the nurse's clipboard.

"Is everything as it should be?" Cora asked, yawning into her hand.

"I think so, we'll know for sure after another twenty-four hours. I'd say, if you don't mind my saying, it's been a very lucky evening."

"Has everyone been to see the children?" Robert asked, feeling pride growing within him.

"Err, no... Everyone has gone to bed. The Dowager Countess suggested that if we're to be busy running examinations this evening then perhaps tomorrow morning might be the best time to meet the new lords."

"Very good, probably as well. It's getting late," Robert looked at his pocket watch and barely registered the time it displayed.

"Well, I'll allow you some time to say goodnight," Clarkson said, moving out of the room again to allow them a moment's privacy. The second the door clicked shut, Robert was sitting beside her on the bed, his hands in hers and his eyes on her face.

"I've never been so scared in my life as I have been this evening," he told her. "Thank you for making it all go away."

Cora smiled, her voice soft. "Angel's were watching over us tonight."

Robert nodded, he didn't need to say any more, even though he wanted to. She had been brave in the face of the consequences which was more than could be said of him sometimes. Suddenly he knew what she'd meant. This was as good as it got, if he were to die tomorrow he could be happy with his life. For he had lived it hand in hand with her.

* * *

_A/N: Yeah, I know I made you wait way too long! I just have to say a big thank you to dear Settees-under-seige for Beta-ing this chapter for me and providing moral guidance as without her I could well have bailed... _

_Anyway, I have heaps of other things and notes and stuff but I'm going to leave all that for the epilogue when this story finally signs off. Ta ta dears and thank you for the reviews and support, means oodles to me. :)_

_Nova Super xx_


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